1 00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:42,436 This is zero one Alpha. We have secured falcon. 2 00:01:42,812 --> 00:01:45,648 I say again, we have secured falcon. 3 00:01:47,066 --> 00:01:48,276 By the time I count to ten... 4 00:01:48,359 --> 00:01:50,570 ...you will have told me exactly what I need to know. 5 00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:52,029 If not... 6 00:01:52,572 --> 00:01:56,075 ...the number ten will be the last thing you will ever hear. 7 00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:57,326 One 8 00:01:57,410 --> 00:01:58,411 two 9 00:01:58,452 --> 00:01:59,453 three 10 00:01:59,537 --> 00:02:00,538 four 11 00:02:00,705 --> 00:02:01,747 five 12 00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:02,790 six 13 00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:04,000 seven 14 00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:05,084 eight 15 00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:06,919 grenade! Sir, get back! 16 00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,101 Shit. 17 00:02:22,685 --> 00:02:24,312 Fucking missed it. 18 00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:26,939 How did I fucking miss it? 19 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:32,737 Merlin, I apologize for putting you in this position. 20 00:02:32,904 --> 00:02:34,447 You trained him well. 21 00:02:35,448 --> 00:02:36,991 James... 22 00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:41,245 Training is over. 23 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:44,498 Welcome to Kingsman. 24 00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:46,292 Lancelot. 25 00:02:46,459 --> 00:02:47,501 Sir. 26 00:02:50,755 --> 00:02:54,800 I'll deal with this mess personally. 27 00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:00,806 I very much regret that 28 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,808 your husband's bravery can't be publicly celebrated. 29 00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:04,352 I hope you understand. 30 00:03:04,602 --> 00:03:06,103 How can I understand? 31 00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:08,272 You won't tell me anything. 32 00:03:09,148 --> 00:03:11,651 I didn't even know he wasn't with his squad. 33 00:03:11,817 --> 00:03:12,985 I'm so sorry, I can't say more. 34 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,323 But I would like to present you with this medal of valour... 35 00:03:18,157 --> 00:03:21,035 And if you look closely on the back, there's a number. 36 00:03:21,369 --> 00:03:23,871 And as a more concrete gesture of our gratitude... 37 00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:25,957 We'd like to offer you, um... 38 00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:28,501 Let's call it a favour. 39 00:03:28,668 --> 00:03:30,169 The nature of it is your choice. 40 00:03:30,336 --> 00:03:31,671 Just tell the operator... 41 00:03:32,171 --> 00:03:35,549 "Oxfords not brogues," and then I'll know it's you. 42 00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:39,553 I don't want your help! 43 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,139 I want my husband back! 44 00:03:49,981 --> 00:03:51,148 What's your name, young man? 45 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:52,733 Eggsy. 46 00:03:52,817 --> 00:03:54,151 Hello, Eggsy. 47 00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:56,570 Can I see that? 48 00:04:03,369 --> 00:04:05,329 You take care of this, Eggsy. 49 00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:07,707 All right? 50 00:04:11,711 --> 00:04:13,254 And take care of your mum, too. 51 00:04:54,086 --> 00:04:57,757 So sorry, professor Arnold. Just a tiny bit more. 52 00:04:57,923 --> 00:05:00,426 Oh, for god's sakes, just rip it off. 53 00:05:00,593 --> 00:05:04,138 I'm under very strict instructions not to hurt you. 54 00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:06,557 Look, you've made a mistake. 55 00:05:06,724 --> 00:05:09,477 I'm a university lecturer. I've got no money. 56 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,103 This isn't about money. 57 00:05:11,270 --> 00:05:13,230 Our boss just wants to talk to you. 58 00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:15,316 Am I meant to find that reassuring? 59 00:05:15,483 --> 00:05:17,610 He'll be here soon. He'll explain. 60 00:05:18,778 --> 00:05:20,404 Do you like whiskey? 61 00:05:21,072 --> 00:05:23,783 Red, get the '62 Dalmore. 62 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,034 Hmm. 63 00:05:25,117 --> 00:05:28,162 Honestly, this whiskey, it's amazing. 64 00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:30,289 You will shit. 65 00:05:49,809 --> 00:05:52,978 I suppose asking to borrow a cup of sugar is a step too far'? 66 00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:19,839 Professor Arnold, I'm here to take you home. 67 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,849 Hmm. 68 00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:32,476 1962 Dalmore. 69 00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,728 It'd be a sin to spill any. 70 00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:36,856 Don't you think? 71 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,732 Can you hold these? Please? 72 00:07:33,913 --> 00:07:34,914 Thank you. 73 00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:43,589 Everything is clean. 74 00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:52,097 My kind of welcome. 75 00:07:53,515 --> 00:07:54,516 Mmm. 76 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,607 No stomach for violence. 77 00:08:01,774 --> 00:08:03,692 I mean, literally, I see one drop of blood... 78 00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:05,778 That is me done. 79 00:08:05,945 --> 00:08:07,112 I'm like... 80 00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:08,614 Projectile. 81 00:08:08,781 --> 00:08:10,950 Listen, I'm so sorry... 82 00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:16,497 You had to witness all this unpleasantness due to our uninvited guest. 83 00:08:16,664 --> 00:08:20,793 But I promise you, by the time I've found out who he works for... 84 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:25,297 You and I will be the best of friends. 85 00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:33,639 To the shop, please. 86 00:08:57,246 --> 00:08:58,414 Arthur's in the dining room, sir. 87 00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:10,050 Arthur. 88 00:09:10,259 --> 00:09:11,427 Galahad. 89 00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:13,345 The others were beginning to wonder 90 00:09:13,429 --> 00:09:16,307 if we were going to have a double toast. 91 00:09:19,018 --> 00:09:22,980 Gentlemen, I'm thankful to say it's been 17 years... 92 00:09:23,147 --> 00:09:25,524 Since we last had occasion to use this decanter. 93 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:30,821 Lancelot was an outstanding agent, and a true Kingsman. 94 00:09:30,988 --> 00:09:32,406 He will be sorely missed. 95 00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:34,950 To Lancelot. 96 00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:37,453 To Lancelot. 97 00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:43,500 I intend to start the selection process for 98 00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:45,961 Lancelot's replacement tomorrow. 99 00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:49,214 I want each of you to propose a candidate... 100 00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:51,717 And have them report to UK HQ... 101 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,053 No later than 9 P.M. GMT. 102 00:09:54,470 --> 00:09:55,471 Thank you. 103 00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:58,807 Merlin. 104 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,560 Come in. 105 00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:04,605 Lancelot was investigating a group of mercenaries... 106 00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:07,483 Who were experimenting with biological weaponry. 107 00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:08,650 Glasses, gentlemen, please. 108 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,655 Uganda,2012. 109 00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:15,324 Synthetic cathinones. 110 00:10:15,491 --> 00:10:18,911 They put it in the water supply of a guerrilla army base. 111 00:10:19,078 --> 00:10:22,331 Rage, cannibalism, multiple fatalities. 112 00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:25,167 Chechnya, 2013. 113 00:10:25,501 --> 00:10:27,127 Insurgents turned on one another. 114 00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:28,962 Indisputably, the work of our mercenaries, 115 00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:30,923 but no trace of any chemicals of any kind. 116 00:10:31,215 --> 00:10:32,299 So what happened to Lancelot? 117 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:36,303 He tracked them to this property in Argentina. 118 00:10:36,512 --> 00:10:37,805 While he had them under surveillance... 119 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,807 He became aware they'd effected a kidnapping. 120 00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:44,645 So he executed a solo rescue mission, which failed. 121 00:10:45,521 --> 00:10:47,022 This is his last transmission. 122 00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:51,568 Who is he? Some climate change doomsayer. 123 00:10:51,735 --> 00:10:53,237 Expounds something called "Gaia theory"... 124 00:10:53,404 --> 00:10:55,155 About the world healing itself, or some such. 125 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:59,201 But what's curious, is he's not actually missing. 126 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:01,995 This is professor Arnold... 127 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,206 At imperial college this morning. 128 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:07,042 It's all yours. 129 00:11:07,251 --> 00:11:09,503 And don't forget your membership proposal. 130 00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:12,756 Try picking a more suitable candidate this time. 131 00:11:12,923 --> 00:11:14,800 17 years and still... 132 00:11:14,967 --> 00:11:18,595 Evolving with the times remains an entirely foreign concept to you. 133 00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:19,972 Need I remind you, I wouldn't be here 134 00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:21,640 if it weren't for that young man? 135 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,601 He was as much Kingsman material as any of them. 136 00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:25,978 More so. 137 00:11:26,145 --> 00:11:29,148 But he wasn't exactly one of us, was he? 138 00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,692 Let's face it, Galahad, 139 00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:33,527 your little experiment failed. 140 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,739 With respect, Arthur, you're a snob. 141 00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:38,991 "With respect"? 142 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,369 The world is changing. 143 00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:46,540 There's a reason why aristocrats developed weak chins. 144 00:12:05,017 --> 00:12:06,018 Eggsy? 145 00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:10,230 Eggsy, come here. 146 00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:15,235 Got any rizla, babe? No. 147 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,361 Why don't you do your mum a favour, 148 00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:17,488 go down to the shop and get some? 149 00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:18,906 Get them yourself. Oi. 150 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,742 What have I said to you about speaking to Dean like that? 151 00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:24,203 Three's a crowd, innit? Why don't Dean's poodle go? 152 00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:26,997 I'll tell you what. 153 00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:28,916 Why don't you take this, go and get some rizlas... 154 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,918 Get yourself some sweets? And while you're gone... 155 00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:35,005 We'll show your mother how three can be good company. 156 00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:38,592 Thanks, babe. 157 00:12:46,308 --> 00:12:48,018 There we go. 158 00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:50,187 Ls that better? 159 00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:06,370 If Dean treats your mum so bad, 160 00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:07,412 why doesn't she leave him? 161 00:13:07,538 --> 00:13:09,498 Low self-esteem. That's her problem. 162 00:13:09,665 --> 00:13:11,416 Fuck off. Why would she have low self-esteem? 163 00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:13,418 Eggsy's mum is well fit. 164 00:13:13,752 --> 00:13:15,921 No offense, bruv. It's all right. 165 00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:19,174 One of these days, I'm gonna smash his face in. 166 00:13:19,341 --> 00:13:20,759 Are you mental, cuz? 167 00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:22,302 He'd just get that lot to do you, 168 00:13:22,386 --> 00:13:23,595 and then pretend he knew nothing-- 169 00:13:26,098 --> 00:13:27,099 ...about it. 170 00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:29,810 Oi! You think you can chat shit about us and we won't do nothing... 171 00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:32,104 Just because our guvnor's banging Eggsy's mum? 172 00:13:32,271 --> 00:13:34,106 Pretty much, yeah. 173 00:13:34,273 --> 00:13:36,441 Bruv, just leave it. Let's just go, man. 174 00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:37,609 It's not worth it. 175 00:13:37,693 --> 00:13:40,279 You boys have outstayed your welcome. 176 00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:41,613 Leave. 177 00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:44,366 What? 178 00:13:45,117 --> 00:13:46,952 I'm sorry about that, bruv. 179 00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,039 Yeah. 180 00:13:51,123 --> 00:13:52,165 Mug. 181 00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:56,461 They weren't fucking worth it, boys. 182 00:13:57,504 --> 00:14:00,799 It's freezing. Why are we walking? 183 00:14:00,966 --> 00:14:02,801 You jacked his fucking car keys, bruv? 184 00:14:02,968 --> 00:14:05,470 Yeah. Now, we're gonna Nick his car. 185 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:07,472 Shit! 186 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:14,855 Hold on, boys. 187 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,067 Hey, that's my fucking car! 188 00:14:19,234 --> 00:14:21,486 Hey! Hey! Eggsy! 189 00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:23,697 I swear, you want to fucking stop it! 190 00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:26,408 You're a fucking dead man! Stop it! 191 00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:30,329 I'm gonna fucking have ya! 192 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:36,918 Floor it, Eggsy! 193 00:14:37,002 --> 00:14:38,003 Floor it! 194 00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,130 Wanker! 195 00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:43,467 Yeah, Dean. Look, it's me. 196 00:14:43,634 --> 00:14:45,636 Eggsy just stole my fucking car, yeah. 197 00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,639 I've come out the pub, he's done 15 donuts in my fucking face... 198 00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,349 And he's drove off. 199 00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:52,643 No, I can't have it! He's disrespecting me. 200 00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:55,020 And that means, he's disrespecting you. 201 00:14:55,187 --> 00:14:58,023 Hold up! What the...? 202 00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:38,313 Oh. 203 00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:39,731 Dickhead. 204 00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:43,694 Foxes are vermin, cuz. 205 00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,278 Should've driven it over. 206 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,406 Should've done a lot of things. 207 00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:49,241 I'll sort this. Get out of the car. 208 00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:51,910 I said, get out of the fucking car! 209 00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:03,880 Eggsy, there is no such thing as honour amongst thieves. 210 00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:08,593 Now, you can start giving me some names of the boys you were with... 211 00:16:09,261 --> 00:16:10,595 Or you go down. 212 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:12,806 It's up to you. 213 00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:15,600 I want to exercise my right to a phone call. 214 00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:21,815 Well, I hope it's to your mum... 215 00:16:21,982 --> 00:16:25,485 To tell her you're gonna be 18 months late for your dinner. 216 00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:58,810 Customer complaints, how may I help you? Um... 217 00:16:59,603 --> 00:17:01,146 My name's Eggsy Unwin. 218 00:17:01,313 --> 00:17:05,817 Sorry, Gary Unwin. And I'm up shit creek. 219 00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:07,235 I'm in Holborn police station... 220 00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:09,070 And my mum said to call this number if ever I needed help. 221 00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:11,740 I'm sorry, sir. Wrong number. 222 00:17:11,907 --> 00:17:13,241 Wait! Wait! 223 00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:17,245 Oxfords not brogues. 224 00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:20,373 Your complaint has been duly noted... 225 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:23,668 And we hope that we have not lost you as a loyal customer. 226 00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:36,097 Yeah. 227 00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,017 You what? 228 00:17:40,352 --> 00:17:41,394 ' 'L 229 00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:42,854 yeah. 230 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:46,191 Yes, I totally understand. 231 00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:06,795 E9953'- 232 00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:08,922 would you like a lift home? 233 00:18:09,798 --> 00:18:10,882 Who are you? 234 00:18:11,049 --> 00:18:12,384 The man who got you released. 235 00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:13,885 That ain't an answer. 236 00:18:14,219 --> 00:18:16,388 A little gratitude would be nice. 237 00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:20,892 My name is Harry hart, and I gave you that medal. 238 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,437 Your father saved my life. 239 00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:29,860 So before you was a tailor, was you in the army? 240 00:18:30,402 --> 00:18:31,736 Like an officer. 241 00:18:31,903 --> 00:18:33,405 Not quite. 242 00:18:33,572 --> 00:18:35,365 So where was you posted, Iraq or something? 243 00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:37,784 Sorry, Eggsy. Classified. 244 00:18:38,869 --> 00:18:40,412 But my dad saved your life, yeah? 245 00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:44,958 The day your father died, I missed something. 246 00:18:46,084 --> 00:18:47,210 And if it weren't for his courage... 247 00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:50,297 My mistake would have cost the lives of every man present. 248 00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:52,716 So I owe him. 249 00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:55,927 Your father was a brave man. 250 00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:58,930 A good man. 251 00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:00,140 And having read your files... 252 00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:02,726 I think he'd be bitterly disappointed in the choices you've made. 253 00:19:02,893 --> 00:19:03,935 You can't talk to me like that. 254 00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:04,978 Huge IQ. 255 00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:07,147 Great performance at primary school. 256 00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:09,399 And it all went tits up. 257 00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:12,277 Drugs, petty crime. Never had a job. 258 00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:14,112 You think there's a lot of jobs going around here, do you? 259 00:19:14,279 --> 00:19:15,780 Doesn't explain why you gave up your hobbies. 260 00:19:15,947 --> 00:19:18,533 First prize, regional under-10’s gymnastics... 261 00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:19,910 Two years in a row. 262 00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:22,287 Your coach had you pegged as Olympic team material. 263 00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:24,289 Yeah, well, when you grow up around someone like my stepdad... 264 00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:25,790 You pick up new hobbies pretty quick. 265 00:19:25,916 --> 00:19:27,626 Of course. Always someone else's fault. 266 00:19:29,377 --> 00:19:31,046 Who's to blame for you quitting the marines? 267 00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:32,297 You were halfway through training, 268 00:19:32,339 --> 00:19:33,590 doing brilliantly, but you gave up. 269 00:19:33,757 --> 00:19:35,759 Because my mum went mental. 270 00:19:35,926 --> 00:19:38,720 Banging on about losing me as well as my dad. 271 00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:41,306 Didn't want me being cannon fodder for snobs like you. 272 00:19:41,473 --> 00:19:43,892 Judging people like me from your ivory towers... 273 00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:46,269 With no thought about why we do what we do. 274 00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:49,314 We ain't got much choice. You get me? 275 00:19:49,773 --> 00:19:52,150 And if we was born with the same silver spoon up our arses... 276 00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:55,153 We'd do just as well as you. If not, better. 277 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:58,156 What the fuck you doing here? You taking the piss? 278 00:19:59,950 --> 00:20:01,117 Some more examples of young men... 279 00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:02,994 Who simply need a silver suppository? 280 00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:04,663 No, they're exceptions. Come on. 281 00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:06,289 Nonsense. We haven't finished our drinks. 282 00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:07,540 After you nicked his car... 283 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:09,000 Dean says you're fair game. 284 00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:10,627 He don't give a shit what your mum says. 285 00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,170 Um, listen, boys... 286 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,507 I've had a rather emotional day... 287 00:20:15,674 --> 00:20:17,425 So whatever your beef with Eggsy is, 288 00:20:17,509 --> 00:20:20,011 and I'm sure it's well-founded... 289 00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:21,846 I'd appreciate it enormously... 290 00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:23,974 If you could just leave us in peace... 291 00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:26,685 Until I finish this lovely pint of Guinness. 292 00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:31,231 You should get out of the way, granddad, 293 00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:32,399 or you'll get hurt and all. 294 00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:34,025 He ain't joking. You should go. 295 00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:35,443 Mmm. 296 00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:42,033 Excuse me. 297 00:20:43,868 --> 00:20:44,995 If you're looking for another rent boy, 298 00:20:45,036 --> 00:20:46,579 they're on the corner of Smith street. 299 00:20:52,544 --> 00:20:53,837 Manners... 300 00:20:55,046 --> 00:20:56,339 Maketh... 301 00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:00,593 Man. 302 00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:09,853 Do you know what that means? 303 00:21:11,730 --> 00:21:13,898 Then let me teach you a lesson. 304 00:21:22,741 --> 00:21:25,785 Are we going to stand around here all day, or are we going to fight? 305 00:22:10,580 --> 00:22:13,583 You fucking dirty, fucking dirty-- 306 00:22:54,833 --> 00:22:56,251 sorry about that. 307 00:22:56,417 --> 00:22:58,169 Needed to let off a little steam. 308 00:22:59,337 --> 00:23:02,841 I heard yesterday a friend of mine died. 309 00:23:03,007 --> 00:23:05,051 He knew your father too, actually. 310 00:23:07,554 --> 00:23:09,681 Now, I do apologize, Eggsy. 311 00:23:09,848 --> 00:23:11,850 I shouldn't have done this in front of you. 312 00:23:12,016 --> 00:23:14,018 No, please! I won't say nothing, I swear! 313 00:23:14,185 --> 00:23:15,687 If there's one thing I can do, it's keep my mouth shut. 314 00:23:15,854 --> 00:23:17,188 You won't tell a soul? Ask the feds. 315 00:23:17,355 --> 00:23:18,356 I've never grassed anyone up. 316 00:23:18,523 --> 00:23:20,859 Is that a promise? On my life! 317 00:23:25,029 --> 00:23:26,865 Much appreciated, Eggsy. 318 00:23:27,031 --> 00:23:28,783 You're right about the snobs. 319 00:23:28,950 --> 00:23:31,202 But there, too, there are exceptions. 320 00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:33,913 Best of luck with everything. 321 00:23:48,136 --> 00:23:49,387 In celebrity news, 322 00:23:49,470 --> 00:23:52,348 the Richmond Valentine movie premiered in Hollywood last night. 323 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,435 The story of the Internet billionaire 's rise to power... 324 00:23:55,602 --> 00:23:58,396 Is expected to be this award season's hot ticket. 325 00:23:58,563 --> 00:24:01,566 One notable absence from the red carpet was Iggy Azalea... 326 00:24:01,733 --> 00:24:05,236 Still missing three days after she failed to appear at her Oakland concert. 327 00:24:05,403 --> 00:24:06,946 No ransom has been demanded. 328 00:24:07,113 --> 00:24:09,073 Eggsy, just go, please, because he's gonna... 329 00:24:10,283 --> 00:24:11,743 No, please, don't hurt him! 330 00:24:11,910 --> 00:24:13,620 Fuck off! Get the fuck away with ya! 331 00:24:13,786 --> 00:24:14,996 Shut the fuck up! 332 00:24:15,163 --> 00:24:17,290 Who was with you in that fucking pub? 333 00:24:17,457 --> 00:24:19,584 I want to know the name of the geezer you was with. 334 00:24:19,751 --> 00:24:21,586 I wasn't with no one! Who was it? 335 00:24:21,753 --> 00:24:23,171 I don't know what you're on about. Who was it? 336 00:24:23,338 --> 00:24:24,464 I don't know who you're fucking on about! 337 00:24:24,631 --> 00:24:25,757 Fucking tell me his name! 338 00:24:25,924 --> 00:24:28,259 I don't know who you're fucking on about! 339 00:24:32,472 --> 00:24:33,473 Dean". You listen to me! 340 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,600 I want to know who you was with in that pub. Do you understand? 341 00:24:35,767 --> 00:24:37,644 I want to know his fucking name! 342 00:24:37,810 --> 00:24:40,772 Because, I swear, I'll rip your head off. 343 00:24:40,939 --> 00:24:43,983 Tell me! Eggsy". I don't know what you're fucking on about! 344 00:24:44,150 --> 00:24:45,193 Just tell him, Eggsy! 345 00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:47,153 Fuck off! Fuck off, Michelle! 346 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:48,613 I could kill you right now... 347 00:24:48,780 --> 00:24:51,282 And no one in the whole world will notice! 348 00:24:51,449 --> 00:24:53,117 But I would. 349 00:24:53,284 --> 00:24:55,119 I have enough evidence on your activities... 350 00:24:55,286 --> 00:24:57,288 To have you locked up for the rest of your life... 351 00:24:57,455 --> 00:24:59,666 Mr. Dean Anthony Baker. What the fuck? 352 00:24:59,874 --> 00:25:01,459 So I suggest you leave the boy alone... 353 00:25:01,626 --> 00:25:04,963 Or I shall be forced to deliver it to the appropriate authorities. 354 00:25:06,214 --> 00:25:08,758 Eggsy, meet me at the tailor I told you about. 355 00:25:08,925 --> 00:25:11,386 What the fuck's going on here? 356 00:25:13,346 --> 00:25:14,555 Eggsy, you fucking maggot! 357 00:25:14,722 --> 00:25:15,932 Hey, we got a racer! 358 00:25:16,099 --> 00:25:17,558 Come here. Hey! 359 00:25:18,268 --> 00:25:19,394 Eggsv. You fucking-- 360 00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:20,853 come here, son! 361 00:25:33,283 --> 00:25:34,367 You wanker! 362 00:25:34,534 --> 00:25:36,160 I'll have you, son! 363 00:26:01,602 --> 00:26:03,604 I've never met a tailor before. 364 00:26:04,439 --> 00:26:05,773 But I know you ain't one. 365 00:26:09,736 --> 00:26:11,404 Come with me. 366 00:26:20,079 --> 00:26:21,372 Come on in. 367 00:26:27,086 --> 00:26:28,087 What do you see? 368 00:26:28,379 --> 00:26:31,591 Someone who wants to know what the fuck is going on. 369 00:26:33,301 --> 00:26:35,636 I see a young man with potential. 370 00:26:36,971 --> 00:26:38,723 A young man who is loyal. 371 00:26:39,891 --> 00:26:41,601 Who can do as he's asked. 372 00:26:41,768 --> 00:26:44,562 And who wants to do something good with his life. 373 00:26:46,147 --> 00:26:48,149 Did you see the film trading places? 374 00:26:48,900 --> 00:26:50,234 No. 375 00:26:50,651 --> 00:26:52,153 How about Nikita? 376 00:26:53,237 --> 00:26:54,572 Pretty woman? 377 00:26:55,490 --> 00:26:56,574 All right. 378 00:26:56,741 --> 00:26:58,409 My point is, that the lack of a silver spoon 379 00:26:58,451 --> 00:26:59,744 has set you on a certain path... 380 00:26:59,911 --> 00:27:01,746 But you needn't stay on it. 381 00:27:01,996 --> 00:27:06,834 If you're prepared to adapt and learn, you can transform. 382 00:27:07,418 --> 00:27:09,253 Oh, like in my fair lady. 383 00:27:10,296 --> 00:27:12,340 Well, you're full of surprises. 384 00:27:12,590 --> 00:27:15,301 Yes, like my fair lady. 385 00:27:16,344 --> 00:27:17,512 Only, in this case, I'm offering you 386 00:27:17,595 --> 00:27:19,639 the opportunity to become a Kingsman. 387 00:27:20,306 --> 00:27:21,641 A tailor? 388 00:27:22,141 --> 00:27:23,434 A Kingsman agent. 389 00:27:25,019 --> 00:27:26,270 Like a spy? 390 00:27:26,479 --> 00:27:27,605 Of sorts. 391 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:30,441 Interested? 392 00:27:31,109 --> 00:27:33,277 You think I've got anything to lose? 393 00:27:40,451 --> 00:27:41,786 Since 1849... 394 00:27:41,953 --> 00:27:46,124 Kingsman tailors have clothed the world's most powerful individuals. 395 00:27:46,290 --> 00:27:48,167 By 1919, a great number of them had 396 00:27:48,251 --> 00:27:51,003 lost their heirs to world war one. 397 00:27:51,796 --> 00:27:55,133 That meant a lot of money going uninherited. 398 00:27:55,299 --> 00:27:59,303 And a lot of powerful men with a desire to preserve peace and protect life. 399 00:27:59,470 --> 00:28:02,390 Our founders realized that they could channel that wealth and influence... 400 00:28:02,557 --> 00:28:04,183 For the greater good. 401 00:28:04,350 --> 00:28:07,645 And so began our other venture. 402 00:28:08,479 --> 00:28:10,815 An independent, international intelligence agency... 403 00:28:10,982 --> 00:28:14,318 Operating at the highest level of discretion. 404 00:28:15,111 --> 00:28:16,612 Above the politics and bureaucracy... 405 00:28:16,779 --> 00:28:20,950 That undermine the integrity of government-run spy organizations. 406 00:28:21,701 --> 00:28:24,036 The suit is a modern gentleman's armour. 407 00:28:24,871 --> 00:28:27,957 And the Kingsman agents are the new knights. 408 00:28:29,041 --> 00:28:30,626 How deep does this fucking thing go? 409 00:28:30,793 --> 00:28:31,836 Deep enough. 410 00:29:16,506 --> 00:29:18,216 Shit, we're late. 411 00:29:42,865 --> 00:29:45,409 Your father had the same look on his face. 412 00:29:47,078 --> 00:29:48,454 As did I. 413 00:29:50,122 --> 00:29:51,249 Come on. 414 00:29:54,043 --> 00:29:55,086 Galahad. 415 00:29:55,253 --> 00:29:56,254 My code name. 416 00:29:56,420 --> 00:29:57,880 Late again, sir. 417 00:29:58,256 --> 00:29:59,549 Good luck. 418 00:29:59,924 --> 00:30:01,259 In you go. 419 00:30:12,770 --> 00:30:13,938 Fall in. 420 00:30:16,148 --> 00:30:18,985 Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Merlin. 421 00:30:19,151 --> 00:30:20,236 You are about to embark... 422 00:30:20,403 --> 00:30:23,114 On what is probably the most dangerous job interview in the world. 423 00:30:23,948 --> 00:30:26,158 One of you, and only one of you, 424 00:30:26,242 --> 00:30:28,786 will become the next Lancelot. 425 00:30:29,579 --> 00:30:32,790 Can anybody tell me what this is? 426 00:30:33,666 --> 00:30:35,293 Yes? Body bag, sir. 427 00:30:35,459 --> 00:30:37,670 Correct. Charlie, isn't it? 428 00:30:37,753 --> 00:30:38,754 Yes, sir. 429 00:30:38,796 --> 00:30:39,797 Good. 430 00:30:39,922 --> 00:30:42,300 In a moment, you will each collect a body bag. 431 00:30:42,466 --> 00:30:44,302 You will write your name on that bag. 432 00:30:44,635 --> 00:30:47,888 You will write the details of your next of kin on that bag. 433 00:30:48,055 --> 00:30:51,309 This represents your acknowledgment of the risks that you are about to face... 434 00:30:51,642 --> 00:30:54,770 As well as your agreement to strict confidentiality. 435 00:30:54,937 --> 00:30:57,982 Which, incidentally, if you break, will result in you... 436 00:30:58,274 --> 00:31:00,610 And your next of kin... 437 00:31:01,068 --> 00:31:02,653 Being in that bag. 438 00:31:04,322 --> 00:31:05,740 Is that understood? 439 00:31:07,241 --> 00:31:08,409 Excellent. 440 00:31:08,993 --> 00:31:10,286 Fall out. 441 00:31:17,585 --> 00:31:20,004 Roxanne. But call me Roxy. 442 00:31:20,755 --> 00:31:22,173 I'm Eggsy - Eggy"? 443 00:31:22,340 --> 00:31:23,382 No “Eggsy.” 444 00:31:23,466 --> 00:31:24,800 Eggy? 445 00:31:24,967 --> 00:31:26,093 Where did they dig you up? 446 00:31:26,260 --> 00:31:28,346 You know we're not allowed to discuss who proposed us. 447 00:31:28,512 --> 00:31:29,805 No need to bite his head off. 448 00:31:29,972 --> 00:31:32,308 Charlie's only making conversation, right, Charlie? 449 00:31:32,475 --> 00:31:33,851 Hmm. I'm Digby. 450 00:31:35,186 --> 00:31:36,187 Digby. 451 00:31:36,270 --> 00:31:37,688 Eggy, this is Rufus. 452 00:31:37,855 --> 00:31:39,357 Rufus, Eqqy- 453 00:31:41,525 --> 00:31:44,320 so, Eggy, are you Oxford or Cambridge? 454 00:31:44,570 --> 00:31:45,571 Neither. 455 00:31:45,655 --> 00:31:46,947 Saint Andrews? Durham? 456 00:31:47,114 --> 00:31:49,033 No, wait, I think we may have met. 457 00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:52,912 Did you serve me at the McDonald's in Winchester service station? 458 00:31:52,995 --> 00:31:53,996 No. 459 00:31:54,038 --> 00:31:55,122 But if I had, I would have given you 460 00:31:55,206 --> 00:31:56,540 an extra helping of secret sauce. 461 00:31:57,291 --> 00:31:59,794 It's definitely Saint Andrews 462 00:32:00,378 --> 00:32:01,545 Just ignore them. 463 00:32:01,712 --> 00:32:02,797 You need a pen? 464 00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:03,881 Cheers. 465 00:32:03,964 --> 00:32:05,383 Amelia, isn't it? 466 00:32:05,466 --> 00:32:06,884 Amelia, eggs)'- 467 00:32:07,051 --> 00:32:08,219 hi, Eggsy- 468 00:32:08,552 --> 00:32:10,304 don't take any notice of those guys. 469 00:32:10,471 --> 00:32:12,181 That's what I told him. 470 00:32:14,475 --> 00:32:15,685 It's just scare tactics. 471 00:32:16,060 --> 00:32:17,561 Classic army technique. 472 00:32:17,895 --> 00:32:18,896 No one's gonna die. 473 00:32:23,025 --> 00:32:24,235 Shame. 474 00:32:26,362 --> 00:32:28,572 Great. You don't know, the CIA don't know. 475 00:32:28,739 --> 00:32:31,242 Nobody knows who this guy is? 476 00:32:31,992 --> 00:32:32,993 Fine. 477 00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:34,537 Seriously, it's fine. 478 00:32:34,704 --> 00:32:38,582 Well, it's not really fine, but it's not why I'm here. 479 00:32:38,749 --> 00:32:42,211 Hell, man, you know me. Money's not my issue. 480 00:32:42,378 --> 00:32:44,088 I could've retired straight out of MIT... 481 00:32:44,255 --> 00:32:46,716 Fucked off to some island, let the business run itself. 482 00:32:46,882 --> 00:32:49,635 Nobody told me to try and save the planet. 483 00:32:49,802 --> 00:32:51,429 I wanted to. 484 00:32:51,595 --> 00:32:55,307 Climate change research, lobbying, years of study, billions of dollars... 485 00:32:55,474 --> 00:32:57,268 And you know why I quit? 486 00:32:57,727 --> 00:33:02,481 Because the last time I checked, the planet was still fucked. 487 00:33:02,815 --> 00:33:05,317 Hence, my epiphany- 488 00:33:05,484 --> 00:33:08,237 money won't solve this. 489 00:33:08,612 --> 00:33:11,073 Those idiots who call themselves politicians... 490 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:15,286 Have buried their heads in the sand and stood for nothing but re-election. 491 00:33:16,078 --> 00:33:20,416 So I spent the last two years trying to find a real solution. 492 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:22,918 And I found it. 493 00:33:24,003 --> 00:33:27,131 Now, if you really want to make the world a better place... 494 00:33:27,298 --> 00:33:29,633 I suggest you open your fucking ears, 495 00:33:29,717 --> 00:33:31,427 because I'm about to tell it to you. 496 00:33:31,927 --> 00:33:33,596 Go on, Mr. Valentine. 497 00:33:33,971 --> 00:33:35,473 I'm still listening. 498 00:33:36,265 --> 00:33:40,144 As long as you agree to all my terms. 499 00:34:28,359 --> 00:34:29,902 All right, no one panic. Listen to me. 500 00:34:30,152 --> 00:34:31,195 Stay calm. 501 00:34:31,695 --> 00:34:32,696 Fuck. 502 00:34:34,865 --> 00:34:36,408 Loo snorkels, loo snorkels! 503 00:34:36,700 --> 00:34:38,410 Loo snorkels? Showerheads! 504 00:34:39,703 --> 00:34:40,788 Showerheads? 505 00:34:40,871 --> 00:34:42,331 She's right. Fucking go! 506 00:34:44,250 --> 00:34:46,043 Hey, hang about, what's wrong with the fucking door? 507 00:36:10,461 --> 00:36:13,255 Congratulations on completing your first task. 508 00:36:13,505 --> 00:36:16,175 Charlie, Roxy, well done. 509 00:36:16,342 --> 00:36:18,135 For those of you who are still confused... 510 00:36:18,302 --> 00:36:20,471 If you can get a breathing tube around a u-bend of a toilet... 511 00:36:20,638 --> 00:36:22,473 You have an unlimited air supply. 512 00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:25,142 Simple physics, worth remembering. 513 00:36:25,309 --> 00:36:28,604 Eggsy, well done for spotting that was a two-way mirror. 514 00:36:28,771 --> 00:36:29,772 He's probably seen enough of them. 515 00:36:29,939 --> 00:36:32,816 Yeah, you can all wipe those smirks off your faces. 516 00:36:32,983 --> 00:36:34,276 Because as far as I'm concerned, 517 00:36:34,318 --> 00:36:36,820 every single one of you has failed. 518 00:36:37,154 --> 00:36:40,199 You all forgot the most important thing... 519 00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:42,493 Teamwork. 520 00:36:56,674 --> 00:36:59,343 So much for classic army technique. 521 00:37:02,513 --> 00:37:03,764 35. 522 00:37:04,431 --> 00:37:05,808 105. 523 00:37:06,433 --> 00:37:08,769 That's it. That's it. 524 00:37:13,148 --> 00:37:14,149 Hello. 525 00:37:14,817 --> 00:37:15,859 Can I help you? 526 00:37:16,026 --> 00:37:19,405 Yes. I have a question about anthropogenic force. 527 00:37:19,947 --> 00:37:23,701 Oh. Really? It's actually quite fascinating. 528 00:37:25,869 --> 00:37:27,538 My colleague died trying to rescue you... 529 00:37:27,705 --> 00:37:29,415 And I'm sure you saw how well trained he was... 530 00:37:29,581 --> 00:37:32,167 So I suggest you tell me who kidnapped you and why they let you go. 531 00:37:32,334 --> 00:37:34,086 I have no idea what you're talking-- 532 00:37:34,878 --> 00:37:37,131 I'm not supposed to say it, but it was-- 533 00:37:37,506 --> 00:37:39,216 oh, for god's sake, I've barely touched you. 534 00:37:39,383 --> 00:37:40,676 Oh, man up! 535 00:38:01,530 --> 00:38:03,449 Fuck that guy, whoever he is. I'm gonna-- 536 00:38:04,992 --> 00:38:06,952 he made me kill professor Arnold. 537 00:38:07,119 --> 00:38:08,454 I goddamn loved professor Arnold. 538 00:38:08,620 --> 00:38:09,663 Well, the good news is... 539 00:38:09,830 --> 00:38:11,623 We know the emergency and surveillance system work. 540 00:38:11,790 --> 00:38:13,751 You know what's not good news? 541 00:38:13,917 --> 00:38:15,627 "My colleague died!" 542 00:38:15,794 --> 00:38:17,212 That's what he said! 543 00:38:17,379 --> 00:38:19,715 This is an organization, and they're all over us. 544 00:38:19,965 --> 00:38:21,717 Whoever you spoke to-- I told you... 545 00:38:21,884 --> 00:38:24,762 I made contact with the KGB, MI6, Mossad and Beijing. 546 00:38:24,887 --> 00:38:27,056 They all insist he wasn't one of theirs. 547 00:38:27,431 --> 00:38:28,724 Beijing- 548 00:38:29,183 --> 00:38:33,395 so freaky how there's no recognizable name for the Chinese secret service. 549 00:38:33,854 --> 00:38:36,023 Now, that's what you call a secret, right? 550 00:38:37,024 --> 00:38:38,776 You know what? Fuck it. 551 00:38:39,234 --> 00:38:40,819 We need to speed things up. 552 00:38:40,986 --> 00:38:42,321 Bring the product release forward. 553 00:38:42,488 --> 00:38:44,323 We're only halfway into production... 554 00:38:44,490 --> 00:38:45,908 And speeding it will cost a fortune. 555 00:38:46,075 --> 00:38:47,367 Do I look like I give a fuck? 556 00:38:47,618 --> 00:38:49,286 Just get it done. 557 00:38:51,955 --> 00:38:54,541 As some of you will have learned last night... 558 00:38:55,959 --> 00:38:59,171 Teamwork is Paramount here at Kingsman. 559 00:38:59,338 --> 00:39:03,133 We're here to enhance your skills, test you to the limit. 560 00:39:03,300 --> 00:39:06,720 Which is why you're gonna pick a puppy. 561 00:39:06,887 --> 00:39:08,722 Wherever you go, your dog goes. 562 00:39:08,889 --> 00:39:11,100 You will care for it. You will teach it. 563 00:39:11,266 --> 00:39:14,311 And by the time it's fully trained, so will you be. 564 00:39:14,478 --> 00:39:17,064 Those of you who are still here, that is. 565 00:39:17,231 --> 00:39:19,149 Do you understand? 566 00:39:19,358 --> 00:39:21,235 Choose your puppy- 567 00:39:23,904 --> 00:39:25,030 a poodle? 568 00:39:25,114 --> 00:39:26,115 Roxy; What? 569 00:39:26,323 --> 00:39:27,908 They're gun dogs. 570 00:39:28,075 --> 00:39:29,576 Oldest working breed. 571 00:39:29,743 --> 00:39:31,537 Easy to train. 572 00:39:32,579 --> 00:39:33,831 A pug? 573 00:39:35,207 --> 00:39:36,875 It's a bulldog, innit? 574 00:39:39,336 --> 00:39:40,671 It'll get bigger, though, won't it? 575 00:39:44,591 --> 00:39:46,718 Shit. 576 00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:52,057 His MRI shows no signs of concussion. 577 00:39:52,224 --> 00:39:55,185 No direct brain trauma at all. 578 00:39:55,519 --> 00:39:57,604 How much longer can he be out? 579 00:39:57,771 --> 00:39:58,939 That's the million-dollar question. 580 00:39:59,106 --> 00:40:00,941 We don't know what he was exposed to in there. 581 00:40:01,108 --> 00:40:02,568 What about Harry's footage? 582 00:40:02,734 --> 00:40:04,403 It didn't stream to his home terminal. 583 00:40:04,570 --> 00:40:07,531 Encrypted and uncrackable. 584 00:40:07,781 --> 00:40:08,907 If and when he comes around... 585 00:40:09,074 --> 00:40:11,702 You might want to have a with him about sharing his password. 586 00:40:11,869 --> 00:40:13,537 Is he gonna be all right? 587 00:40:14,705 --> 00:40:16,373 We need to have patience, Eggsy. 588 00:40:16,790 --> 00:40:18,125 But there's hope, okay? 589 00:40:18,709 --> 00:40:20,419 If I were you, I'd concentrate on your training. 590 00:40:20,586 --> 00:40:22,754 Make it through the tests. Make him proud. 591 00:40:30,387 --> 00:40:31,889 Come on, come on, come on! 592 00:40:32,055 --> 00:40:34,141 J.B., come on! Come on! 593 00:40:37,227 --> 00:40:39,229 I'm not coming last because of you. 594 00:40:40,063 --> 00:40:42,566 J.B., I'll shoot you! Goddamn you, I'll fucking shoot you! 595 00:40:43,817 --> 00:40:45,485 Merlin said we're not allowed to hold you. 596 00:40:47,654 --> 00:40:49,156 Bollocks. 597 00:41:31,698 --> 00:41:32,699 Water! 598 00:41:35,953 --> 00:41:37,454 Come on, then! Eggsy, forget it! 599 00:41:37,621 --> 00:41:39,122 What's wrong, mate? You can't take a joke? 600 00:41:39,289 --> 00:41:41,458 Seriously, you'll get thrown out, and it's just not worth it. 601 00:41:41,625 --> 00:41:43,126 Maybe I don't give a fuck if I get kicked out! 602 00:41:43,293 --> 00:41:44,628 Do it. Come on, you pleb. 603 00:41:44,795 --> 00:41:46,213 Charlie, fuck off! 604 00:41:47,256 --> 00:41:48,298 Aw. 605 00:41:48,340 --> 00:41:51,301 Yeah, go on, walk away. Dickhead. 606 00:41:52,636 --> 00:41:53,720 Come on, J.B. 607 00:41:53,887 --> 00:41:54,972 Come on, good boy. 608 00:42:08,777 --> 00:42:11,154 You have exactly one hour to complete the test... 609 00:42:11,321 --> 00:42:12,864 Starting now. 610 00:42:14,950 --> 00:42:16,702 New target, 800 meters. 611 00:42:16,868 --> 00:42:18,495 You know, it's unbelievable. You're still here... 612 00:42:18,662 --> 00:42:22,165 Lingering like some big, steaming shit that just won't flush. 613 00:42:22,332 --> 00:42:23,834 Roger that. Target identified. 614 00:42:24,001 --> 00:42:26,003 And how about you shut the fuck up? 615 00:42:26,169 --> 00:42:27,296 Positive discrimination... 616 00:42:27,462 --> 00:42:28,880 That's what it is. 617 00:42:29,047 --> 00:42:30,215 It's like those fucking state school kids 618 00:42:30,299 --> 00:42:32,217 who get into Oxford on c grades... 619 00:42:32,384 --> 00:42:34,011 Because their mum is a one-legged lesbian. 620 00:42:34,177 --> 00:42:35,679 You don't know fuck all about my grades. 621 00:42:35,846 --> 00:42:37,723 Forgive me, I'm sure you're highly educated. 622 00:42:37,889 --> 00:42:39,349 Fire when ready. 623 00:42:41,518 --> 00:42:43,520 How's that for positive discrimination? 624 00:42:56,199 --> 00:42:57,993 I want to thank you both for listening... 625 00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:01,246 And I really, really appreciate you travelling all this way... 626 00:43:01,413 --> 00:43:02,414 Your royal highness. 627 00:43:02,748 --> 00:43:04,374 And you, too, prime minister. 628 00:43:04,541 --> 00:43:07,544 I think this is quite brilliant. 629 00:43:08,045 --> 00:43:10,547 It's absolutely brilliant. 630 00:43:11,340 --> 00:43:14,176 You are completely crazy. 631 00:43:16,219 --> 00:43:17,763 And as for you, prime minister 632 00:43:17,888 --> 00:43:20,098 I'm speechless you'd even consider this. 633 00:43:25,395 --> 00:43:28,357 Don't touch-- Valentine: Sorry, your royal highness. 634 00:43:28,523 --> 00:43:29,566 But you've got a big role to play... 635 00:43:29,733 --> 00:43:32,277 In getting the Scandinavian region back on track. 636 00:43:32,611 --> 00:43:33,945 You're popular, inspirational... 637 00:43:34,112 --> 00:43:36,573 And you have the power to galvanize the people. 638 00:43:36,740 --> 00:43:39,576 Now, whether you're on board or not... 639 00:43:39,743 --> 00:43:41,370 I'm going to have to insist... 640 00:43:41,536 --> 00:43:44,414 On getting you somewhere I can ensure your safety. 641 00:43:44,915 --> 00:43:47,125 How about you, prime minister? You in or out? 642 00:43:48,085 --> 00:43:49,586 Well, I think it's about time... 643 00:43:49,753 --> 00:43:54,424 That a politician did something that, uh, actually made a difference. 644 00:43:54,925 --> 00:43:56,760 Too true. 645 00:43:56,927 --> 00:43:57,928 What? 646 00:43:57,969 --> 00:43:59,262 Take her away. 647 00:44:02,724 --> 00:44:03,725 Drink? 648 00:44:04,768 --> 00:44:06,269 Why not? 649 00:44:08,188 --> 00:44:10,148 Guards! Help! 650 00:44:10,232 --> 00:44:11,233 Don't worry. 651 00:44:11,274 --> 00:44:12,776 No harm will come to the Princess. 652 00:44:13,110 --> 00:44:14,486 Well, I'm a republican anyways, 653 00:44:14,569 --> 00:44:17,239 so it really doesn't matter. 654 00:44:18,740 --> 00:44:19,741 Release the Princess! 655 00:44:53,483 --> 00:44:54,651 Okay, you're done. 656 00:44:54,818 --> 00:44:56,319 Not so bad, right? 657 00:44:56,862 --> 00:44:58,697 Hardly felt a thing. 658 00:44:58,989 --> 00:45:00,490 Welcome aboard. 659 00:45:00,949 --> 00:45:03,702 Pleasure is all mine. 660 00:45:09,124 --> 00:45:10,125 Ever heard of knocking? 661 00:45:11,334 --> 00:45:12,669 Only when I'm casing a place to rob. 662 00:45:14,171 --> 00:45:15,338 Merlin said you wanted to see me? 663 00:45:16,631 --> 00:45:18,675 I hope J.B.'s training is going as well as yours is. 664 00:45:18,967 --> 00:45:20,010 Sit. 665 00:45:22,512 --> 00:45:25,390 Congratulations on making it to the final six candidates. 666 00:45:25,557 --> 00:45:28,059 Your test results were even better than I c:Ould've hoped. 667 00:45:30,687 --> 00:45:31,855 Come in. 668 00:45:34,191 --> 00:45:35,192 Ah. 669 00:45:36,026 --> 00:45:38,695 Eggsy, I need to have a private conversation. 670 00:45:38,862 --> 00:45:39,863 You're dismissed. 671 00:45:39,988 --> 00:45:41,698 Nonsense. Let him observe. 672 00:45:41,907 --> 00:45:43,533 Might learn a thing or two. 673 00:45:44,034 --> 00:45:46,036 As you wish. Take a look at this. 674 00:45:46,077 --> 00:45:48,079 Oh, for god's sake, I've barely touched you. 675 00:45:48,163 --> 00:45:49,164 Oh, man up! 676 00:45:49,664 --> 00:45:51,374 Fucking hell! 677 00:45:51,541 --> 00:45:53,502 That is rank, Harry. 678 00:45:54,211 --> 00:45:55,545 You blew up his head? 679 00:45:55,712 --> 00:45:57,172 It's a bit much, innit? 680 00:45:57,339 --> 00:46:01,009 Actually, the explosion was caused by an implant in his neck. 681 00:46:01,218 --> 00:46:02,719 Here, under the scar. 682 00:46:03,053 --> 00:46:05,555 Did my hardware pick up the signal that triggered it? 683 00:46:05,722 --> 00:46:07,224 Fortunately, yes. 684 00:46:07,557 --> 00:46:09,518 Unfortunately, the IP address I traced it to... 685 00:46:09,684 --> 00:46:11,895 Is registered to the Valentine corporation. 686 00:46:12,062 --> 00:46:13,104 That's not much of a lead. 687 00:46:13,188 --> 00:46:14,689 He has millions of employees worldwide. 688 00:46:15,065 --> 00:46:17,234 That Richmond Valentine is a genius. 689 00:46:20,862 --> 00:46:23,031 Did you not see his announcement today? 690 00:46:23,740 --> 00:46:24,908 No. 691 00:46:28,954 --> 00:46:32,541 We each spend on average $2,000 a year... 692 00:46:32,707 --> 00:46:34,584 On cell phone and Internet usage. 693 00:46:34,751 --> 00:46:37,879 It gives me great pleasure to announce... 694 00:46:38,046 --> 00:46:40,590 Those days are over. 695 00:46:40,757 --> 00:46:41,800 As of tomorrow... 696 00:46:41,967 --> 00:46:45,804 Every man, woman and child can claim a free sim card... 697 00:46:45,971 --> 00:46:50,100 Compatible with any cell phone, any computer... 698 00:46:50,267 --> 00:46:54,437 And utilize my communications network for free. 699 00:46:54,604 --> 00:46:55,939 Free calls... 700 00:46:56,106 --> 00:46:57,607 Free Internet... 701 00:46:57,774 --> 00:46:59,276 For everyone. 702 00:47:00,277 --> 00:47:01,611 Forever. 703 00:47:17,460 --> 00:47:20,130 Valentine's assistant has the same implant scar. 704 00:47:20,630 --> 00:47:23,300 I think Mr. Valentine and I should have a téte-é-téte. 705 00:47:26,803 --> 00:47:29,264 He's having a gala dinner next week. 706 00:47:29,431 --> 00:47:31,141 I'll get you an invitation. 707 00:47:31,224 --> 00:47:32,225 You need to be careful, though. 708 00:47:32,475 --> 00:47:34,436 Since you've been out, hundreds of VIPs have gone missing. 709 00:47:34,603 --> 00:47:36,980 No ransom notes, exactly like professor Arnold. 710 00:47:37,314 --> 00:47:41,026 Then I suggest you make my alias somebody worth kidnapping. 711 00:47:53,830 --> 00:47:54,998 Fuck, fuck, fuck! 712 00:47:55,165 --> 00:47:56,333 What, don't like heights? 713 00:47:56,499 --> 00:47:57,500 Yeah, it's okay. 714 00:47:57,709 --> 00:48:01,338 I've done it before, which is probably why, come to think of it. 715 00:48:02,631 --> 00:48:04,507 Hey, it's gonna be all right. 716 00:48:04,674 --> 00:48:06,134 You're top of the class. 717 00:48:08,136 --> 00:48:09,346 Listen up. 718 00:48:09,512 --> 00:48:12,307 Your mission is to land in the target without the radar detecting you. 719 00:48:12,474 --> 00:48:16,144 If I read you on the radar, or you miss the target, you go home. 720 00:48:16,519 --> 00:48:17,687 Is that understood? 721 00:48:21,191 --> 00:48:23,818 Drop zone coming up, 20 seconds. 722 00:48:25,153 --> 00:48:26,571 We gotta go. 723 00:48:35,830 --> 00:48:37,707 Eggsy, I really don't think I can do this. 724 00:48:37,874 --> 00:48:38,875 Of course you can't. 725 00:48:39,042 --> 00:48:40,377 Head to the back and I'll show you how, yeah? 726 00:48:48,885 --> 00:48:50,887 Eggsy, wait! Hang on! 727 00:48:51,888 --> 00:48:53,390 Roxy, just stop fucking about! 728 00:48:54,766 --> 00:48:55,767 Follow me, yeah? 729 00:49:06,236 --> 00:49:07,237 Whoo! 730 00:49:10,073 --> 00:49:11,908 Come on! 731 00:49:13,201 --> 00:49:15,245 Roxy, it's now or never. 732 00:49:16,538 --> 00:49:17,747 Jump! 733 00:49:36,391 --> 00:49:37,726 Eggsy. Good girl, Rox... 734 00:49:37,892 --> 00:49:39,477 I'm glad you made it! 735 00:49:52,282 --> 00:49:53,950 Yeah! 736 00:49:54,617 --> 00:49:55,618 Come on! 737 00:49:57,996 --> 00:50:00,123 My, my, you're all very cheerful. 738 00:50:00,290 --> 00:50:02,459 Did you really think it was gonna be that straightforward'? 739 00:50:02,625 --> 00:50:05,003 Any idiot can read a heads-up display. 740 00:50:05,170 --> 00:50:08,840 A Kingsman agent needs to be able to solve problems under pressure. 741 00:50:09,424 --> 00:50:12,927 Like what to do when one of your group has no parachute. 742 00:50:14,304 --> 00:50:15,972 - What, no parachute? - Shit! 743 00:50:16,347 --> 00:50:17,474 Who? 744 00:50:17,599 --> 00:50:18,600 Fuck! 745 00:50:18,641 --> 00:50:19,642 Which one? 746 00:50:19,768 --> 00:50:21,186 What do we do? 747 00:50:21,352 --> 00:50:22,771 I told you. Aim for the target. 748 00:50:22,937 --> 00:50:24,189 Come in under the radar. 749 00:50:24,355 --> 00:50:26,316 And I hope not to be scraping one of you up. 750 00:50:26,691 --> 00:50:29,652 But if I do have to, and you're inside the target... 751 00:50:30,153 --> 00:50:31,863 Please know I'll be very impressed. 752 00:50:32,030 --> 00:50:33,448 Fuck! Roxy". Oh, shit! 753 00:50:37,327 --> 00:50:38,995 Everybody listen, I've got a plan! 754 00:50:40,705 --> 00:50:43,666 Pair off! Grab the closest person to them. 755 00:50:46,336 --> 00:50:47,504 Rufus, come on! 756 00:50:47,629 --> 00:50:48,630 Oh, fuck! 757 00:50:49,506 --> 00:50:50,507 Rufus! 758 00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:52,008 Oh, shit! I can't! 759 00:50:55,470 --> 00:50:56,471 Fuck! 760 00:50:57,889 --> 00:50:59,015 Oh, thank god! 761 00:50:59,182 --> 00:51:01,017 Rufus, you wanker! 762 00:51:02,227 --> 00:51:03,645 Shit, we're an odd number now! 763 00:51:04,729 --> 00:51:05,814 Quick, make a circle! 764 00:51:05,980 --> 00:51:07,690 Fuck, he's right! Boys, let's do it. 765 00:51:12,403 --> 00:51:14,489 We pull our cords one by one! 766 00:51:14,656 --> 00:51:15,865 When we know who's fucked... 767 00:51:16,032 --> 00:51:17,367 The person on their right grabs them. 768 00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:20,411 Roxy". Okay, Eggsy. 769 00:51:20,870 --> 00:51:21,871 Good plan, Eggsy. 770 00:51:22,038 --> 00:51:24,207 You have 30 seconds. Come on now, hurry. 771 00:51:24,374 --> 00:51:25,375 Me first! 772 00:51:27,836 --> 00:51:28,837 Oh, fuck! 773 00:51:28,878 --> 00:51:30,213 Yes! 774 00:51:32,257 --> 00:51:34,676 Okay, me next. 775 00:51:36,678 --> 00:51:38,221 See you on the ground, boys. 776 00:51:42,058 --> 00:51:43,059 Now me. 777 00:51:46,938 --> 00:51:47,939 Fuck! 778 00:51:52,235 --> 00:51:53,278 Roxy... 779 00:51:53,361 --> 00:51:55,029 No matter what happens now, I've got you, all right? 780 00:51:58,908 --> 00:52:00,201 Okay, e9953'- 781 00:52:00,368 --> 00:52:01,536 - yours first, okay? - Yep. 782 00:52:14,507 --> 00:52:15,508 Oh, shit! 783 00:52:23,391 --> 00:52:24,642 Eggsy'. Shit! 784 00:52:26,769 --> 00:52:27,770 Shit! 785 00:52:29,439 --> 00:52:30,440 Rox! 786 00:52:33,902 --> 00:52:34,986 Fuck. 787 00:52:51,336 --> 00:52:53,504 Hugo, Digby- 788 00:52:53,671 --> 00:52:56,466 you don't land in the k, you're not in the k. 789 00:52:56,633 --> 00:52:58,968 Rufus, you opened too soon. 790 00:52:59,135 --> 00:53:00,470 You were all over the radar. 791 00:53:00,637 --> 00:53:02,472 All three of you, pack your bags, go home. 792 00:53:04,599 --> 00:53:06,809 Eggsv, Roxy, congratulations. 793 00:53:07,143 --> 00:53:08,770 You set a new record. 794 00:53:08,937 --> 00:53:10,146 Opening at 300 feet... 795 00:53:10,313 --> 00:53:11,356 That's pretty ballsy. 796 00:53:11,522 --> 00:53:14,025 Well done for completing another task. Fall out. 797 00:53:15,151 --> 00:53:16,152 Sorry, sir. 798 00:53:16,319 --> 00:53:17,987 But why the fuck did you choose me as the gimp? 799 00:53:18,154 --> 00:53:19,364 Am I the expendable candidate? 800 00:53:19,530 --> 00:53:22,116 No, no, no. You don't talk to me like that. 801 00:53:22,283 --> 00:53:24,494 You have a complaint, you come here and you whisper it in my ear. 802 00:53:31,334 --> 00:53:34,045 You need to take that chip off your shoulder. 803 00:54:05,034 --> 00:54:07,537 Mr. DeVere. It's a pleasure to meet you. 804 00:54:08,162 --> 00:54:10,873 I'm awfully sorry. I seem to have my dates muddled up. 805 00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:13,918 Oh, no, no, no. I cancelled the gala because of you. 806 00:54:14,252 --> 00:54:16,045 Anybody willing to donate that much... 807 00:54:16,212 --> 00:54:18,381 Deserves their own dinner. Come in! 808 00:54:20,008 --> 00:54:21,009 Thank you. 809 00:54:22,885 --> 00:54:25,388 Got to admit, I was really intrigued to meet you. 810 00:54:25,555 --> 00:54:27,390 There aren't many billionaires I don't know. 811 00:54:27,557 --> 00:54:28,558 I don't doubt it. 812 00:54:28,725 --> 00:54:31,728 And, obviously, I had my people look into your affairs... 813 00:54:31,894 --> 00:54:33,479 And that's some pretty old money you're from. 814 00:54:33,563 --> 00:54:34,564 How'd your folks make it? 815 00:54:35,231 --> 00:54:38,234 Property, mostly. Property and the markets. 816 00:54:38,401 --> 00:54:40,445 Nothing questionable, if that's your concern. 817 00:54:40,611 --> 00:54:43,239 Look, I'm just into finding out what calibre person you are. 818 00:54:43,322 --> 00:54:44,323 I'm sure you understand that. 819 00:54:44,907 --> 00:54:45,950 I most certainly do. 820 00:54:46,117 --> 00:54:47,618 Hope you're hungry. I'm famished. 821 00:54:47,785 --> 00:54:48,870 Good. 822 00:54:48,953 --> 00:54:49,954 Grab a seat. 823 00:55:11,684 --> 00:55:12,769 I’ll have the Big Mac, please. 824 00:55:12,935 --> 00:55:14,103 Great choice. 825 00:55:14,270 --> 00:55:17,690 But nothing beats two cheeseburgers with secret sauce. 826 00:55:17,857 --> 00:55:19,650 Goes great with this '45 LaFite. 827 00:55:19,817 --> 00:55:20,818 A classic pairing. 828 00:55:21,235 --> 00:55:24,238 And may I suggest Twinkies and a 1937 Chateau d'Yquem for pudding? 829 00:55:25,073 --> 00:55:26,449 I like it. 830 00:55:27,033 --> 00:55:30,828 So, you want to donate to my foundation. 831 00:55:30,995 --> 00:55:34,332 You are aware that I wound things down in that area, right? 832 00:55:34,499 --> 00:55:37,418 Climate change is a threat, which affects us all, Mr. Valentine. 833 00:55:37,585 --> 00:55:40,713 And you're one of the few powerful men who seems to share my concerns. 834 00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:43,549 No, I shut things down, because I wasn't getting anywhere. 835 00:55:43,716 --> 00:55:46,552 Every bit of research kept pointing to the same thing. 836 00:55:46,719 --> 00:55:48,096 That carbon emissions are a red herring... 837 00:55:48,262 --> 00:55:51,933 And that we're past the point of no return no matter what remedial actions we take'? 838 00:55:52,308 --> 00:55:53,935 You know your shit. 839 00:55:54,102 --> 00:55:57,688 I sometimes envy the blissful ignorance of those less well versed in their... 840 00:55:58,231 --> 00:55:59,440 "Shit." 841 00:56:00,483 --> 00:56:02,026 As professor Arnold always said... 842 00:56:02,610 --> 00:56:05,029 "Humankind is the only virus cursed to live... 843 00:56:05,196 --> 00:56:08,449 "With the horrifying knowledge of its host's fragile mortality." 844 00:56:09,700 --> 00:56:12,245 You know, not a lot of people knew about him. 845 00:56:14,956 --> 00:56:17,333 You like spy movies, Mr. DeVere? 846 00:56:21,003 --> 00:56:24,006 Nowadays, they're all a little serious for my taste. 847 00:56:24,090 --> 00:56:25,091 But the old ones... 848 00:56:25,967 --> 00:56:27,218 Marvellous. 849 00:56:27,385 --> 00:56:29,637 Give me a far-fetched theatrical plot any day. 850 00:56:29,804 --> 00:56:33,307 The old bond movies. Oh, man! 851 00:56:33,474 --> 00:56:37,019 Oh, when I was a kid, that was my dream job. 852 00:56:37,812 --> 00:56:39,397 Gentleman spy. 853 00:56:39,772 --> 00:56:43,109 I always felt the old bond films were only as good as the villain. 854 00:56:43,484 --> 00:56:47,613 As a child, I rather fancied a future as a colourful megalomaniac. 855 00:56:49,490 --> 00:56:52,785 What a shame we both had to grow up. 856 00:56:57,415 --> 00:56:58,624 Bon appétit. 857 00:57:01,169 --> 00:57:04,130 Just give me a couple of days to think over your proposal. 858 00:57:04,297 --> 00:57:05,882 I'll have my people get in touch with yours... 859 00:57:06,048 --> 00:57:07,550 And it's all good. 860 00:57:07,717 --> 00:57:11,179 And thank you for such a happy meal. 861 00:57:16,601 --> 00:57:17,977 Well, want me to follow him? 862 00:57:18,144 --> 00:57:19,270 Nah. 863 00:57:19,562 --> 00:57:22,023 I put a nano tracker gel in the wine. 864 00:57:22,190 --> 00:57:25,193 We'll know his every move for the next 24 hours. 865 00:57:25,359 --> 00:57:27,737 Finally find out who he works for. 866 00:57:29,488 --> 00:57:31,449 Valentine didn't let me out of his sight. 867 00:57:31,616 --> 00:57:34,118 All I got was this on the way in. 868 00:57:38,247 --> 00:57:41,334 South glade mission church is a hate group based in Kentucky. 869 00:57:42,210 --> 00:57:43,794 FBI have been monitoring them for years. 870 00:57:43,961 --> 00:57:45,755 But you think Valentine is a supporter? 871 00:57:45,922 --> 00:57:49,217 No evidence yet of a direct connection, but I'll keep locking. 872 00:57:50,092 --> 00:57:51,469 Oh, by the way... 873 00:57:51,636 --> 00:57:56,682 Our ever-growing list of missing persons now includes Scandinavian royalty. 874 00:57:57,099 --> 00:57:59,810 Royal crown Princess tilde. 875 00:58:01,896 --> 00:58:04,732 Just let me out, you psycho! 876 00:58:04,899 --> 00:58:07,735 I told you, you're free to go any time you want. 877 00:58:07,902 --> 00:58:10,154 As long as you agree to my conditions. 878 00:58:10,571 --> 00:58:12,198 I don't agree... 879 00:58:12,365 --> 00:58:15,076 And I am never ever going to agree! 880 00:58:15,243 --> 00:58:16,494 Tough shit. 881 00:58:16,911 --> 00:58:17,912 Bitch. 882 00:58:20,081 --> 00:58:21,832 I want to speak to the British council! 883 00:58:22,458 --> 00:58:24,669 The list of missing celebrities and dignitaries 884 00:58:24,752 --> 00:58:26,879 has continued to grow in recent weeks... 885 00:58:27,046 --> 00:58:30,925 And world leaders are coming under increasing pressure to provide answers. 886 00:58:31,092 --> 00:58:34,845 We are doing everything in our power to find Princess tilde. 887 00:58:35,012 --> 00:58:38,182 You know, governments and security forces worldwide... 888 00:58:38,349 --> 00:58:42,061 Are working together to find the person behind these abductions. 889 00:58:42,228 --> 00:58:43,896 In other news, people all over the world... 890 00:58:44,063 --> 00:58:48,442 Continue to wait in line day and night to get their free sim cards. 891 00:58:48,609 --> 00:58:51,070 Mrs. p, did you get one? 892 00:58:51,237 --> 00:58:53,823 Yeah, I've been queuing up all day. 893 00:58:53,990 --> 00:58:58,244 This unprecedented giveaway by the philanthropist Richmond Valentine... 894 00:58:58,411 --> 00:59:01,247 Has already seen over a billion cards distributed. 895 00:59:01,414 --> 00:59:02,623 At ease. 896 00:59:04,792 --> 00:59:07,211 So you thought we were done for the day, huh? 897 00:59:08,004 --> 00:59:09,213 Well, we're not. 898 00:59:10,840 --> 00:59:12,842 A party? Tonight, in London. 899 00:59:14,593 --> 00:59:16,929 - Who's this? - Your target. 900 00:59:17,096 --> 00:59:19,056 Your mission is to use your NLP training... 901 00:59:19,223 --> 00:59:21,600 To win over the individual on the photograph in your envelope. 902 00:59:21,767 --> 00:59:23,269 And when I say "win over"... 903 00:59:23,602 --> 00:59:25,229 I do mean in the biblical sense. 904 00:59:25,396 --> 00:59:26,564 Easy. 905 00:59:27,481 --> 00:59:29,525 Posh girls love a bit of rough. 906 00:59:29,692 --> 00:59:31,319 We'll see about that, yeah? 907 00:59:31,610 --> 00:59:33,404 We certainly will. 908 00:59:38,617 --> 00:59:39,618 Hi! 909 00:59:39,744 --> 00:59:43,039 Sorry, I just had to come over and say, amazing eyes. 910 00:59:43,414 --> 00:59:44,623 Are you wearing colour contacts? 911 00:59:44,790 --> 00:59:47,001 No! You so are. 912 00:59:47,168 --> 00:59:49,545 Oh, my god, negging! That's hilarious. 913 00:59:49,712 --> 00:59:51,589 I haven't heard anyone try that since the noughties. 914 00:59:51,756 --> 00:59:52,840 Excuse me? 915 00:59:52,882 --> 00:59:54,050 “Negging” 916 00:59:54,091 --> 00:59:58,054 saying something negative to a pretty girl in order to undermine her social value. 917 00:59:58,220 --> 01:00:00,264 It's supposed to make you want to win his approval. 918 01:00:00,848 --> 01:00:03,893 Absurdly basic neuro-linguistic: Programming technique. 919 01:00:04,060 --> 01:00:06,187 Is it just me, or does this champagne taste a little bit funny? 920 01:00:06,354 --> 01:00:08,230 It's an acquired taste, mate. I think it's just cheap. 921 01:00:08,397 --> 01:00:10,232 Get one of these instead. They're delicious. 922 01:00:10,399 --> 01:00:13,110 If you're into seduction techniques, this guy is textbook. 923 01:00:13,277 --> 01:00:16,030 See what he just did? It's called an opinion opener. 924 01:00:16,197 --> 01:00:17,698 He got you talking with a neutral question... 925 01:00:17,865 --> 01:00:19,575 Got all of us involved in the conversation... 926 01:00:19,742 --> 01:00:21,410 So that you craved individual attention. 927 01:00:22,119 --> 01:00:23,454 No, I'm just saying the champagne tastes rank. 928 01:00:23,621 --> 01:00:25,373 Lady Sophie Montague-herring. 929 01:00:25,539 --> 01:00:26,832 Phone call for you at reception. 930 01:00:26,999 --> 01:00:28,709 Be right back. We'll see you in a bit, yeah? 931 01:00:28,876 --> 01:00:30,252 See you in a bit. 932 01:00:30,419 --> 01:00:32,254 Budge up, Rox. I'm feeling a bit rough. 933 01:00:32,421 --> 01:00:33,923 Are you all right? No. 934 01:00:34,090 --> 01:00:35,132 Sorry to eavesdrop... 935 01:00:35,299 --> 01:00:38,844 But there's a much easier way to guarantee getting someone home. 936 01:00:39,053 --> 01:00:40,596 Rohypnol. 937 01:00:42,765 --> 01:00:44,517 Or even something stronger. 938 01:01:02,076 --> 01:01:03,744 Who the fuck are you? 939 01:01:04,328 --> 01:01:05,746 Where am I? 940 01:01:08,165 --> 01:01:09,333 This knife... 941 01:01:09,500 --> 01:01:11,544 Can save your life, hmm? 942 01:01:15,798 --> 01:01:16,799 Fuck! 943 01:01:17,216 --> 01:01:20,010 My employer's got two questions for you, Eggsy. 944 01:01:20,177 --> 01:01:22,054 What the fuck is Kingsman? 945 01:01:22,221 --> 01:01:23,848 And who's Harry hart? 946 01:01:24,014 --> 01:01:25,683 I don't know who the fuck that is! 947 01:01:25,766 --> 01:01:26,767 Shit! 948 01:01:26,976 --> 01:01:30,771 Oh, Eggsy, I just killed two of your friends who gave me the same bullshit answer! 949 01:01:31,313 --> 01:01:32,314 Fuck! 950 01:01:32,773 --> 01:01:35,317 Just cut the fucking ropes, please! 951 01:01:35,484 --> 01:01:36,527 Hey, Eggsy! 952 01:01:36,694 --> 01:01:38,028 Is Kingsman worth dying for? 953 01:01:40,239 --> 01:01:41,615 Fuck you! 954 01:01:55,921 --> 01:01:57,214 Congratulations. 955 01:01:57,381 --> 01:01:58,591 Bloody well done. 956 01:02:00,885 --> 01:02:02,470 How did the others do? 957 01:02:02,636 --> 01:02:04,430 Roxy passed with flying colours. 958 01:02:04,972 --> 01:02:07,224 Charlie's up next. Want to watch? 959 01:02:08,642 --> 01:02:10,102 Yeah, all right. 960 01:02:12,605 --> 01:02:14,648 Is Kingsman really worth dying for? 961 01:02:14,815 --> 01:02:16,150 No, it fucking isn't! 962 01:02:16,317 --> 01:02:18,152 Shit, I'll tell you what you want. Please! 963 01:02:18,319 --> 01:02:19,612 Chester king is Arthur. 964 01:02:19,778 --> 01:02:21,989 Arthur's head of a spy agency. It's called Kingsman. 965 01:02:22,156 --> 01:02:23,699 Get me out of here! Thank you, Charlie. 966 01:02:23,866 --> 01:02:25,201 Much appreciated. 967 01:02:25,367 --> 01:02:27,745 Come on! That wasn't the fucking deal! 968 01:02:28,162 --> 01:02:30,456 Fuck! 969 01:02:37,463 --> 01:02:39,757 I had such high hopes for you. 970 01:02:39,965 --> 01:02:41,884 You're a bloody disgrace. 971 01:02:42,051 --> 01:02:43,052 Arthur, I'm sorry. 972 01:02:43,886 --> 01:02:45,221 At least untie me. 973 01:02:45,554 --> 01:02:46,889 Untie yourself. 974 01:02:48,557 --> 01:02:50,726 Arthur, please. 975 01:02:52,061 --> 01:02:54,605 I'm the fucking son of the... shit! 976 01:02:54,772 --> 01:02:57,274 Anyone? Hello? 977 01:02:57,441 --> 01:02:59,985 Galahad, Percival, congratulations. 978 01:03:00,277 --> 01:03:03,072 Your candidates have reached the final stage of the testing process. 979 01:03:03,239 --> 01:03:06,784 As tradition allows, you now have 24 hours to spend with them. 980 01:03:07,409 --> 01:03:10,579 Eggsy, you should know your father reached this point. 981 01:03:11,330 --> 01:03:12,331 From now on... 982 01:03:12,790 --> 01:03:14,250 There are no safety nets, understood? 983 01:03:17,962 --> 01:03:18,963 Good. Dismissed. 984 01:03:22,967 --> 01:03:25,094 Charlie, time to go home. 985 01:03:25,261 --> 01:03:26,595 Fuck you. 986 01:03:27,012 --> 01:03:29,265 Fucking dad's gonna hear about this! 987 01:03:31,433 --> 01:03:32,434 "To pee or not to pee?" 988 01:03:34,520 --> 01:03:35,521 That was the headline... 989 01:03:35,604 --> 01:03:38,274 The day after I defused a dirty bomb in Paris. 990 01:03:38,941 --> 01:03:40,609 "Germany 1, England 5." 991 01:03:40,776 --> 01:03:41,860 Missed that game. 992 01:03:42,027 --> 01:03:44,989 I was breaking up an undercover spy ring at the Pentagon. 993 01:03:50,494 --> 01:03:51,787 My first mission. 994 01:03:51,954 --> 01:03:53,455 Foiled the assassination of Margaret Thatcher. 995 01:03:54,957 --> 01:03:56,292 Not everybody would thank you for that one. 996 01:03:56,709 --> 01:03:59,461 The point is, Eggsy, nobody thanked me for any of them. 997 01:04:00,129 --> 01:04:03,674 Front page news on all these occasions was celebrity nonsense. 998 01:04:03,966 --> 01:04:07,511 Because it's the nature of Kingsman that our achievements remain secret. 999 01:04:07,970 --> 01:04:11,307 A gentleman's name should appear in the newspaper only three times. 1000 01:04:11,473 --> 01:04:13,809 When he's born, when he marries, and when he dies. 1001 01:04:13,976 --> 01:04:17,146 And we are, first and foremost, gentlemen. 1002 01:04:17,479 --> 01:04:18,814 That's me fucked then. 1003 01:04:19,815 --> 01:04:21,692 It's like Charlie said. I'm just a pleb. 1004 01:04:21,859 --> 01:04:22,860 Nonsense. 1005 01:04:23,027 --> 01:04:25,529 Being a gentleman has nothing to do with the circumstances of one's birth. 1006 01:04:26,488 --> 01:04:28,324 Being a gentleman is something one learns. 1007 01:04:29,074 --> 01:04:30,909 Yeah, but how? 1008 01:04:31,827 --> 01:04:33,078 All right, first lesson. 1009 01:04:33,245 --> 01:04:34,663 You should've asked me before you took a seat. 1010 01:04:36,540 --> 01:04:37,666 Second lesson. 1011 01:04:38,667 --> 01:04:40,002 How to make a proper Martini. 1012 01:04:41,003 --> 01:04:43,088 Yes, Harry. 1013 01:04:45,674 --> 01:04:48,719 Goddamn it! This fucking hurts! 1014 01:04:49,219 --> 01:04:51,722 You're the one who asked for a biometric security system. 1015 01:04:51,889 --> 01:04:53,015 What's wrong with a simple switch? 1016 01:04:53,182 --> 01:04:54,183 A simple switch? 1017 01:04:54,350 --> 01:04:58,020 This is an extremely dangerous machine. 1018 01:04:58,187 --> 01:05:02,733 It should only be operated by someone as responsible and sane as me. 1019 01:05:02,941 --> 01:05:05,194 Bad shit could happen if this falls into the wrong hands. 1020 01:05:07,321 --> 01:05:08,364 Whoa! 1021 01:05:08,405 --> 01:05:10,074 We done here? Shit! 1022 01:05:10,240 --> 01:05:12,868 No. Now this one. 1023 01:05:13,035 --> 01:05:14,078 For the test at the church. 1024 01:05:14,244 --> 01:05:16,080 This one just has a short range. 1025 01:05:16,246 --> 01:05:17,790 A simple switch will do. 1026 01:05:23,754 --> 01:05:25,255 So are you gonna teach me how to talk proper, 1027 01:05:25,339 --> 01:05:26,382 like in my fair lady? 1028 01:05:26,799 --> 01:05:28,258 Don't be absurd. 1029 01:05:28,550 --> 01:05:31,095 Being a gentleman has nothing to do with one's accent. 1030 01:05:31,261 --> 01:05:33,555 It's about being at ease in one's own skin. 1031 01:05:33,722 --> 01:05:35,265 As Hemingway said, "there is nothing noble... 1032 01:05:35,432 --> 01:05:37,810 "In being superior to your fellow man. 1033 01:05:38,227 --> 01:05:41,730 "True nobility is being superior to your former self." 1034 01:05:45,442 --> 01:05:48,779 Now, the first thing every gentleman needs is a good suit. 1035 01:05:48,946 --> 01:05:52,241 By which I mean, a bespoke suit. Never off-the-peg. 1036 01:05:52,408 --> 01:05:54,785 And Kingsman suits are always bulletproof. 1037 01:05:54,952 --> 01:05:57,746 So let's get you measured, and then, whether you get the job or not... 1038 01:05:57,913 --> 01:06:02,292 You'll have a lasting and useful memento of your time at Kingsman. 1039 01:06:02,459 --> 01:06:06,088 I'm so sorry, sir, but a gentleman is completing his fitting. 1040 01:06:06,255 --> 01:06:08,424 Fitting room two is available. 1041 01:06:08,590 --> 01:06:12,428 One does not use fitting room two when one is popping one's cherry. 1042 01:06:13,679 --> 01:06:16,473 Perhaps I'll show you fitting room three while we wait. 1043 01:06:26,859 --> 01:06:28,110 So we going up or down? 1044 01:06:28,277 --> 01:06:29,445 Neither. 1045 01:06:30,696 --> 01:06:31,697 Is this it? 1046 01:06:31,864 --> 01:06:34,950 Of course not. Pull the hook on your left. 1047 01:06:41,957 --> 01:06:42,958 Oh, yes. 1048 01:06:43,459 --> 01:06:45,627 Very, very nice. 1049 01:06:48,672 --> 01:06:51,175 You're going to need a pair of shoes to go with your suit. 1050 01:06:51,341 --> 01:06:55,471 An Oxford is any formal shoe with open lacing. 1051 01:06:55,637 --> 01:06:58,849 This additional decorative piece is called broguing. 1052 01:06:59,016 --> 01:07:00,184 "Oxfords not brogues." 1053 01:07:00,350 --> 01:07:01,977 Words to live by, Eggsy. 1054 01:07:02,186 --> 01:07:04,813 Words to live by. Try a pair. 1055 01:07:05,564 --> 01:07:07,316 Your weapon scores are excellent, by the way. 1056 01:07:08,484 --> 01:07:11,737 These you are familiar with, and this is our standard issue pistol. 1057 01:07:11,904 --> 01:07:13,530 It's quite unique, as you'll see. 1058 01:07:13,697 --> 01:07:15,032 It also fires a shotgun cartridge 1059 01:07:15,115 --> 01:07:16,825 for use in messy close-range situations. 1060 01:07:17,201 --> 01:07:18,660 How do they feel? Yeah, good. 1061 01:07:18,827 --> 01:07:20,162 Now do your very best impersonation... 1062 01:07:20,329 --> 01:07:21,997 Of a German aristocrat's formal greeting. 1063 01:07:25,542 --> 01:07:26,752 No, eggs)'- 1064 01:07:30,881 --> 01:07:32,007 that is sick. 1065 01:07:33,175 --> 01:07:35,135 In the old days, they had a phone in the heel as well. 1066 01:07:35,302 --> 01:07:36,345 How do I get it back in? 1067 01:07:36,512 --> 01:07:37,513 Well, it's coated in one of the 1068 01:07:37,596 --> 01:07:39,848 fastest acting neurotoxins known to man... 1069 01:07:40,557 --> 01:07:42,059 So very carefully. 1070 01:07:43,977 --> 01:07:47,689 Now, I've had a lot of fun with this. 1071 01:07:47,856 --> 01:07:50,859 One of our finest examples of chemical engineering. 1072 01:07:51,026 --> 01:07:53,529 A poison, harmless when ingested... 1073 01:07:53,695 --> 01:07:55,572 But at a time convenient to you... 1074 01:07:55,739 --> 01:07:59,743 Can be remotely activated. Primed. 1075 01:08:01,036 --> 01:08:02,037 Lethal. 1076 01:08:03,413 --> 01:08:05,541 What about these? What do these do? 1077 01:08:05,916 --> 01:08:07,876 Electrocute you? Don't be ridiculous. 1078 01:08:08,043 --> 01:08:09,878 It's a hand grenade. Shut up! 1079 01:08:10,045 --> 01:08:12,339 If you want to electrocute someone, you'll need a signet ring. 1080 01:08:12,506 --> 01:08:14,591 A gentleman traditionally wears the signet on his left hand. 1081 01:08:14,758 --> 01:08:17,719 But a Kingsman wears it on whichever hand happens to be dominant. 1082 01:08:17,886 --> 01:08:19,221 Touch the contact behind the ring... 1083 01:08:19,388 --> 01:08:20,514 It delivers 50,000 volts. 1084 01:08:22,432 --> 01:08:24,893 And what about them? What makes them so special? 1085 01:08:25,060 --> 01:08:26,061 Nothing. 1086 01:08:26,228 --> 01:08:28,939 That technology has caught up with the spy world. 1087 01:08:29,940 --> 01:08:31,733 Put it back, Eggsy. 1088 01:08:34,111 --> 01:08:35,571 Ah. Perfect timing. 1089 01:08:35,737 --> 01:08:37,614 The gentleman's just finished. 1090 01:08:42,744 --> 01:08:44,079 Mr. DeVere! 1091 01:08:45,581 --> 01:08:47,249 What a coincidence. 1092 01:08:47,875 --> 01:08:50,752 You are totally the reason I'm here. 1093 01:08:50,961 --> 01:08:52,087 When you left my house... 1094 01:08:52,254 --> 01:08:56,049 I was thirsting for that dope-ass smoking jacket you had on. 1095 01:08:56,216 --> 01:08:57,718 And since I'm going to royal ascot... 1096 01:08:57,885 --> 01:08:59,928 And, apparently, you need one of these penguin suits... 1097 01:09:00,470 --> 01:09:01,638 Here I am. 1098 01:09:02,222 --> 01:09:03,223 What are you doing here? 1099 01:09:03,473 --> 01:09:04,808 What's up, man? 1100 01:09:04,975 --> 01:09:06,101 Richmond Valentine. 1101 01:09:06,435 --> 01:09:09,438 This is my new valet. I was just introducing him to my tailor. 1102 01:09:09,605 --> 01:09:12,441 Another coincidence. So am l. 1103 01:09:12,816 --> 01:09:14,902 Have you had any chance to think further on my proposal? 1104 01:09:15,068 --> 01:09:16,069 Most definitely. 1105 01:09:16,278 --> 01:09:19,281 My people will be getting in touch with you very soon. 1106 01:09:19,448 --> 01:09:20,908 I guarantee it. 1107 01:09:21,617 --> 01:09:22,951 A word of advice. 1108 01:09:23,285 --> 01:09:25,495 Ascot requires top hat. 1109 01:09:26,496 --> 01:09:29,625 I might suggest lock and co. Hatters. 1110 01:09:30,459 --> 01:09:31,501 Saint James's. 1111 01:09:31,668 --> 01:09:32,920 "Lox" as in smoked fish? 1112 01:09:33,253 --> 01:09:35,797 As in, "locked up." 1113 01:09:36,256 --> 01:09:37,299 On. 1114 01:09:38,842 --> 01:09:41,762 I have trouble understanding you people sometimes. 1115 01:09:42,346 --> 01:09:44,431 You all talk so funny. 1116 01:09:51,438 --> 01:09:54,524 Gentlemen, would you look after him, please? 1117 01:10:07,037 --> 01:10:08,330 Now this... 1118 01:10:08,497 --> 01:10:10,374 Is a dope-ass top hat. 1119 01:10:12,042 --> 01:10:15,337 Gazelle, let's go ascoting. 1120 01:10:16,838 --> 01:10:18,215 Your hat looks fine, Gazelle. 1121 01:10:18,298 --> 01:10:21,009 Come on! Don't make me late for the queen. 1122 01:10:21,802 --> 01:10:24,471 Come on, Gazelle! We're gonna be late. 1123 01:10:24,638 --> 01:10:26,181 How far is Ascot? 1124 01:10:26,640 --> 01:10:27,683 How far? 1125 01:10:31,895 --> 01:10:33,188 Merlin said you wanted to see me, sir? 1126 01:10:33,689 --> 01:10:35,190 Sit down. 1127 01:10:40,404 --> 01:10:41,655 Pretty dog. 1128 01:10:42,072 --> 01:10:43,365 What's his name? 1129 01:10:43,532 --> 01:10:44,533 J.B. 1130 01:10:44,700 --> 01:10:46,868 As in "James Bond"? No. 1131 01:10:47,160 --> 01:10:48,662 "Jason Bourne"? 1132 01:10:48,829 --> 01:10:50,831 No. "Jack Bauer." 1133 01:10:51,164 --> 01:10:52,207 Oh! 1134 01:10:52,874 --> 01:10:53,875 Bravo. 1135 01:10:54,543 --> 01:10:55,669 It pains me to admit it... 1136 01:10:55,836 --> 01:10:58,714 But I think that one day, you might be as good a spy... 1137 01:10:58,880 --> 01:11:00,340 As any of them. 1138 01:11:07,389 --> 01:11:09,057 Take it. 1139 01:11:15,897 --> 01:11:17,107 Shoot the dog. 1140 01:11:23,905 --> 01:11:25,198 This weapon is live. 1141 01:11:28,243 --> 01:11:29,286 Shoot the dog. 1142 01:12:08,075 --> 01:12:09,117 Give me the gun. 1143 01:12:20,462 --> 01:12:22,172 At least the girl's got balls. 1144 01:12:25,801 --> 01:12:26,802 Get out. 1145 01:12:27,469 --> 01:12:29,471 I knew you couldn't make it. 1146 01:12:32,766 --> 01:12:34,101 Go home. 1147 01:12:35,602 --> 01:12:38,438 Merlin, send in Roxy, please. 1148 01:13:02,212 --> 01:13:05,215 Welcome to Kingsman... 1149 01:13:06,174 --> 01:13:07,300 Lancelot. 1150 01:13:30,657 --> 01:13:31,658 Mum! 1151 01:13:32,075 --> 01:13:33,201 Eg9$y! 1152 01:13:33,410 --> 01:13:34,703 Oh, god. Where have you been? 1153 01:13:34,870 --> 01:13:36,872 I've been so worried about you. 1154 01:13:38,832 --> 01:13:42,085 Oh, my days. Look how big you've grown! 1155 01:13:47,883 --> 01:13:49,926 Where is he? I'm fine. 1156 01:13:50,093 --> 01:13:51,761 Eggsy, please, just don't get involved. 1157 01:13:51,928 --> 01:13:53,597 No, I should never have left you on your own. 1158 01:13:53,763 --> 01:13:56,183 This stops right now. 1159 01:13:56,349 --> 01:13:57,434 I'll be right back. 1160 01:13:57,601 --> 01:13:59,186 Eggsy 1161 01:14:01,563 --> 01:14:02,898 Oi, Dean! 1162 01:14:03,899 --> 01:14:05,734 Oh, Mugsy, so you're back. 1163 01:14:05,901 --> 01:14:07,777 What, you gone and nicked a fucking taxi, now? 1164 01:14:07,944 --> 01:14:09,362 Yeah. 1165 01:14:09,529 --> 01:14:11,573 Can I have a word about my mum's black eye? 1166 01:14:12,574 --> 01:14:14,284 You want to have a word with me, you get out of that cab... 1167 01:14:14,451 --> 01:14:16,119 I'll knock you straight back down on your fucking arse. 1168 01:14:18,371 --> 01:14:20,373 Tell your muppets to go inside, then I’ll get out. 1169 01:14:22,626 --> 01:14:24,544 go on, lads. It'll be two hits. 1170 01:14:24,711 --> 01:14:26,755 Me hitting him, him hitting the floor. 1171 01:14:27,255 --> 01:14:29,591 Come on, then, you prick. 1172 01:14:29,758 --> 01:14:31,635 Let's see what you got. Want a bit of me? 1173 01:14:31,718 --> 01:14:32,719 What are you doing? 1174 01:14:32,761 --> 01:14:34,721 No, no, no! Get out of the fucking car! 1175 01:14:34,763 --> 01:14:36,640 What are you doing? Where you going, you mug? 1176 01:14:36,806 --> 01:14:38,099 Go on, you got no bollocks! 1177 01:14:38,892 --> 01:14:40,894 Come on, bruv, he hit my fucking mum! 1178 01:14:41,061 --> 01:14:42,354 Come back when you've grown a pair! 1179 01:14:42,437 --> 01:14:43,438 Mugsy! 1180 01:15:06,378 --> 01:15:07,379 You throw away... 1181 01:15:07,545 --> 01:15:11,508 Your biggest opportunity over a fucking dog. 1182 01:15:12,509 --> 01:15:14,844 And then you humiliate me by stealing my boss's car. 1183 01:15:15,095 --> 01:15:17,180 You shot a dog just to get a fucking job. 1184 01:15:17,597 --> 01:15:18,598 Yes, I did. 1185 01:15:21,601 --> 01:15:25,480 And Mr. pickle here reminds me of that every time I take a shit! 1186 01:15:27,065 --> 01:15:29,567 You shot your dog and had it stuffed? 1187 01:15:29,734 --> 01:15:30,944 You fucking freak. 1188 01:15:31,111 --> 01:15:32,487 No, I shot my dog... 1189 01:15:32,654 --> 01:15:34,406 And then I brought him home and continued to care for him... 1190 01:15:34,489 --> 01:15:36,908 For the next 11 years until he died of pancreatitis. 1191 01:15:37,659 --> 01:15:40,287 What? It was a blank, Eggsy. 1192 01:15:41,454 --> 01:15:43,123 It was a fucking blank. 1193 01:15:43,915 --> 01:15:45,250 Remember Amelia? 1194 01:15:45,333 --> 01:15:46,334 Yeah. 1195 01:15:46,376 --> 01:15:47,502 She didn't drown. 1196 01:15:47,669 --> 01:15:50,422 She works in our tech department in Berlin. She's fine. 1197 01:15:50,588 --> 01:15:51,798 Limits must be tested... 1198 01:15:51,965 --> 01:15:54,592 A Kingsman only condones the risking of a life to save another. 1199 01:15:54,759 --> 01:15:57,721 Like my dad saved your life even though your fuck-up cost his. 1200 01:15:57,887 --> 01:15:59,556 Or have you got him stuffed here and all? 1201 01:16:01,599 --> 01:16:04,686 Can't you see that everything I've done has been about trying to repay him? 1202 01:16:10,483 --> 01:16:12,152 Harry, listen to this. 1203 01:16:12,319 --> 01:16:14,070 Valentine is at last saying something of note. 1204 01:16:14,487 --> 01:16:16,740 Do you know what I love about pen and paper? 1205 01:16:17,240 --> 01:16:19,743 Nobody can hack into this shit. 1206 01:16:20,160 --> 01:16:23,496 Our worldwide tour was a complete success. 1207 01:16:23,663 --> 01:16:26,124 We have total coverall. 1208 01:16:26,291 --> 01:16:29,085 Like when all your numbers in bingo are crossed out. 1209 01:16:29,210 --> 01:16:30,211 Bingo? 1210 01:16:30,295 --> 01:16:33,673 Bingo, the game. You have played bingo, right? 1211 01:16:34,549 --> 01:16:36,343 Do I look like I play bingo? 1212 01:16:38,553 --> 01:16:39,596 Point is... 1213 01:16:40,263 --> 01:16:44,726 If our tests go well at the church tomorrow, we are good to go. 1214 01:16:44,893 --> 01:16:47,395 South glade mission church. 1215 01:16:48,313 --> 01:16:50,482 - Merlin, get the plane ready. - Will do. 1216 01:16:50,648 --> 01:16:52,275 Harry, I'm so sorry. I'm gonna do whatever-- 1217 01:16:52,442 --> 01:16:53,443 you should be. 1218 01:16:53,610 --> 01:16:56,029 You just stay right there. I'll sort this mess out when I get back. 1219 01:17:02,410 --> 01:17:04,120 And I say to you... 1220 01:17:04,287 --> 01:17:05,538 Bear witness! 1221 01:17:05,705 --> 01:17:08,291 Watch the news. Watch the news. 1222 01:17:08,458 --> 01:17:09,751 Aids! 1223 01:17:10,043 --> 01:17:11,044 Floods! 1224 01:17:11,211 --> 01:17:13,338 The blood of the innocent, spilled! 1225 01:17:13,505 --> 01:17:18,676 And yet, there are those who doubt this is the wrath of god. 1226 01:17:20,512 --> 01:17:27,185 Our filthy government condones sodomy, divorce, abortion! 1227 01:17:27,352 --> 01:17:29,896 And yet, some still doubt... 1228 01:17:30,063 --> 01:17:33,942 This is the work of the antichrist! 1229 01:17:34,109 --> 01:17:38,988 You do not have to be a Jew, a nigger, a whore... 1230 01:17:39,155 --> 01:17:41,908 Or an atheistic, science-loving evolution spouter... 1231 01:17:42,242 --> 01:17:43,701 Charming sermon. 1232 01:17:43,868 --> 01:17:45,537 Can you see Valentine anywhere? 1233 01:17:45,703 --> 01:17:47,122 So, my friends... 1234 01:17:47,288 --> 01:17:50,333 Although he is a just god, he is justly a vengeful one... 1235 01:17:50,500 --> 01:17:53,461 And there can be no turning back... 1236 01:17:53,628 --> 01:17:55,255 From the almighty wrath... 1237 01:17:55,422 --> 01:17:56,881 Are you sure we're out of range? 1238 01:17:57,132 --> 01:17:58,675 We're over 1,000 feet away. What's wrong? 1239 01:17:58,842 --> 01:18:00,093 What if the calculations are wrong? 1240 01:18:00,260 --> 01:18:01,845 You just have to trust me. 1241 01:18:03,054 --> 01:18:07,517 ...Jew, nigger, fag lovers, and the devil is burning them... 1242 01:18:07,684 --> 01:18:08,977 For all eternity. 1243 01:18:09,144 --> 01:18:10,311 Would you excuse me? 1244 01:18:11,146 --> 01:18:12,147 Where are you going? 1245 01:18:12,981 --> 01:18:14,774 Hey! What's your problem? 1246 01:18:16,359 --> 01:18:17,777 I'm a catholic whore... 1247 01:18:17,944 --> 01:18:21,531 Currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend... 1248 01:18:21,698 --> 01:18:24,242 Who works in a military abortion clinic. 1249 01:18:24,826 --> 01:18:26,161 So, hail Satan... 1250 01:18:26,327 --> 01:18:28,329 And have a lovely afternoon, madam. 1251 01:18:31,708 --> 01:18:33,126 Oh, shit. He's leaving. 1252 01:18:33,293 --> 01:18:34,878 I'm starting the test now. 1253 01:18:35,336 --> 01:18:37,422 Let's hope enough of these freaks have our sim cards. 1254 01:18:40,216 --> 01:18:42,010 I kindly ask you to sit down, 1255 01:18:42,093 --> 01:18:43,094 my friend! 1256 01:18:43,261 --> 01:18:44,304 Just leave this church! 1257 01:18:44,471 --> 01:18:46,848 You just leave this church like the infidel you are! 1258 01:18:49,392 --> 01:18:52,604 Satan cannot save you now! You will eat your babies. 1259 01:18:52,770 --> 01:18:56,274 You will drown in the blood of the lord! 1260 01:18:56,441 --> 01:18:57,901 He will not save you! 1261 01:19:04,115 --> 01:19:05,116 Holy fuck! 1262 01:19:06,743 --> 01:19:07,785 Oh, shit, I can't watch this. 1263 01:19:07,994 --> 01:19:09,037 Get over here. 1264 01:19:11,956 --> 01:19:15,376 Lord, I can't change 1265 01:19:16,377 --> 01:19:22,842 won't you fly high, free bird yeah 1266 01:19:51,037 --> 01:19:53,039 jeez! Fuck. 1267 01:19:53,915 --> 01:19:56,042 Galahad, can you hear me? 1268 01:19:56,292 --> 01:19:57,293 Harry! 1269 01:19:57,835 --> 01:20:00,213 Harry, what the heck is going on? 1270 01:20:01,381 --> 01:20:02,840 Could you turn the volume down, please? 1271 01:20:04,175 --> 01:20:06,135 I didn't expect it to be that effective. 1272 01:20:06,302 --> 01:20:07,428 What kind of response are we talking? 1273 01:20:08,304 --> 01:20:09,305 100 percent. 1274 01:20:10,431 --> 01:20:11,849 So, everyone's been affected, 1275 01:20:11,933 --> 01:20:13,434 whether they have a sim card or not. 1276 01:20:13,851 --> 01:20:16,020 And we get the added benefit of wiping out the Kingsman. 1277 01:20:16,646 --> 01:20:18,481 Not yet. 1278 01:21:13,453 --> 01:21:14,746 Oh, you need to see this. 1279 01:23:11,821 --> 01:23:13,656 What did you do to me? 1280 01:23:13,990 --> 01:23:15,616 I had no control. 1281 01:23:16,951 --> 01:23:18,411 I killed all those people. 1282 01:23:20,371 --> 01:23:21,581 I wanted to. 1283 01:23:21,748 --> 01:23:22,832 Clever, isn't it? 1284 01:23:22,999 --> 01:23:25,710 In simple terms, it's a neurological wave... 1285 01:23:25,877 --> 01:23:27,420 That triggers the centres of aggression... 1286 01:23:27,587 --> 01:23:29,297 And switches off inhibitors. 1287 01:23:29,839 --> 01:23:31,674 Transmitted through your nasty, free sim cards, 1288 01:23:31,758 --> 01:23:32,759 I assume. 1289 01:23:36,012 --> 01:23:37,889 Do you know what this is like? 1290 01:23:38,097 --> 01:23:41,350 It's like those old movies we both love. 1291 01:23:41,517 --> 01:23:44,604 Now, I'm going to tell you my whole plan... 1292 01:23:44,771 --> 01:23:45,813 And then I'm going to come up 1293 01:23:45,855 --> 01:23:48,024 with some absurd and convoluted way to kill you... 1294 01:23:48,191 --> 01:23:50,818 And you'll find an equally convoluted way to escape. 1295 01:23:51,903 --> 01:23:53,362 Sounds good to me. 1296 01:23:54,113 --> 01:23:56,240 Well, this ain't that kind of movie. 1297 01:23:59,869 --> 01:24:02,371 No! 1298 01:24:10,505 --> 01:24:12,215 Ls he dead? 1299 01:24:12,381 --> 01:24:14,842 That tends to happen when you shoot someone in the head. 1300 01:24:15,051 --> 01:24:16,177 It feels good, right? 1301 01:24:16,636 --> 01:24:18,721 No, no, it does not feel good. It feels fucking awful. 1302 01:24:18,888 --> 01:24:21,182 What? You just killed how many people in that church? 1303 01:24:21,349 --> 01:24:22,350 This is one guy. 1304 01:24:22,475 --> 01:24:24,477 No, no, they killed each other. 1305 01:24:27,355 --> 01:24:29,273 Okay, send out the countdown clock. 1306 01:24:29,440 --> 01:24:32,109 This party starts tomorrow. 1307 01:25:06,769 --> 01:25:08,145 Arthur? 1308 01:25:10,273 --> 01:25:11,774 Are you there? 1309 01:25:12,066 --> 01:25:14,235 Sadly, lam. 1310 01:25:14,610 --> 01:25:18,072 Assemble the kinsmen. 1311 01:25:21,826 --> 01:25:23,536 Galahad". Can't you see that everything I've done 1312 01:25:23,578 --> 01:25:25,913 has been about trying to repay him? 1313 01:25:46,434 --> 01:25:48,811 I see a young man with potential... 1314 01:25:49,604 --> 01:25:52,273 Who wants to do something good with his life. 1315 01:26:08,956 --> 01:26:11,292 Arthur, Harry's dead. 1316 01:26:11,959 --> 01:26:14,378 Galahad is dead. 1317 01:26:14,545 --> 01:26:16,964 Hence, we have just drunk a toast to him. 1318 01:26:17,632 --> 01:26:20,176 Well, then you know what that psycho's doing. 1319 01:26:20,343 --> 01:26:22,970 How many people around the world have got those sim cards? 1320 01:26:23,137 --> 01:26:25,514 Valentine can send his signal to any of them, all of them. 1321 01:26:25,681 --> 01:26:27,725 If they all go homicidal at the same time then-- 1322 01:26:27,892 --> 01:26:30,186 indeed, and thanks to Galahad’s recordings... 1323 01:26:30,353 --> 01:26:32,980 We have Valentine's confession. 1324 01:26:33,147 --> 01:26:36,525 The intelligence has been passed on to the relevant authorities. 1325 01:26:36,692 --> 01:26:38,027 Our work is complete... 1326 01:26:38,194 --> 01:26:39,987 And a most distinguished legacy 1327 01:26:40,029 --> 01:26:42,657 for our fallen friend, it is, too. 1328 01:26:43,491 --> 01:26:44,659 And that's it? 1329 01:26:45,826 --> 01:26:46,994 Come sit down, boy. 1330 01:26:50,373 --> 01:26:55,378 This is an 1815 Napoleonic Brandy. 1331 01:26:56,420 --> 01:26:59,674 And we only drink it when we lose a Kingsman. 1332 01:27:00,341 --> 01:27:03,344 Galahad was very fond of you. 1333 01:27:05,513 --> 01:27:07,932 And on this occasion... 1334 01:27:08,099 --> 01:27:11,435 I think it's acceptable for us to bend the rules a little. 1335 01:27:13,854 --> 01:27:15,022 Are these all kinsmen? 1336 01:27:15,189 --> 01:27:17,525 Yes, they're founder members. 1337 01:27:18,901 --> 01:27:20,945 I want you to join me in a toast. 1338 01:27:23,197 --> 01:27:25,199 To Galahad. 1339 01:27:26,200 --> 01:27:27,702 To Galahad. 1340 01:27:32,248 --> 01:27:34,875 Harry says you don't like to break rules, Arthur. 1341 01:27:35,376 --> 01:27:36,460 Why now? 1342 01:27:36,627 --> 01:27:37,878 You're very good, Eggsy. 1343 01:27:38,045 --> 01:27:41,632 Perhaps I will make you my proposal for Galahad’s position. 1344 01:27:42,550 --> 01:27:45,261 Provided, of course, that we can see eye to eye... 1345 01:27:45,428 --> 01:27:47,555 On certain political matters. 1346 01:27:50,391 --> 01:27:51,517 Can you guess... 1347 01:27:53,060 --> 01:27:54,645 What this is? 1348 01:27:54,812 --> 01:27:56,480 I don't have to. Harry showed me. 1349 01:27:56,647 --> 01:27:58,149 You click it. I die. 1350 01:27:58,315 --> 01:28:00,109 I thought that Brandy tasted a bit shit. 1351 01:28:00,568 --> 01:28:02,737 Bravo. 1352 01:28:03,404 --> 01:28:06,574 Valentine won you over, somehow. 1353 01:28:06,741 --> 01:28:09,577 Once he explained, I understood. 1354 01:28:09,744 --> 01:28:10,995 When you get a virus... 1355 01:28:11,287 --> 01:28:12,496 You get a fever. 1356 01:28:12,663 --> 01:28:16,667 That's the human body raising its core temperature to kill the virus. 1357 01:28:16,834 --> 01:28:19,086 Planet earth works the same way. 1358 01:28:19,253 --> 01:28:21,172 Global warming is the fever. 1359 01:28:21,338 --> 01:28:24,133 Mankind is the virus. 1360 01:28:24,300 --> 01:28:26,677 We're making our planet sick. 1361 01:28:26,844 --> 01:28:29,430 A cull is our only hope. 1362 01:28:29,597 --> 01:28:31,849 If we don't reduce our population ourselves... 1363 01:28:32,016 --> 01:28:34,602 There is only one of two ways this can go. 1364 01:28:34,769 --> 01:28:39,023 The host kills the virus, or the virus kills the host. 1365 01:28:39,273 --> 01:28:40,274 Either way... 1366 01:28:40,357 --> 01:28:42,818 The result is the same. 1367 01:28:42,985 --> 01:28:44,612 The virus dies. 1368 01:28:45,696 --> 01:28:49,116 So Valentine's gonna take care of the population problem himself. 1369 01:28:49,283 --> 01:28:51,786 Well, if we don't do something, nature will. 1370 01:28:51,952 --> 01:28:56,290 Sometimes a culling is the only way to ensure that this species survives... 1371 01:28:56,999 --> 01:28:59,126 And history will see Valentine... 1372 01:28:59,293 --> 01:29:01,545 As the man who saved humanity from extinction. 1373 01:29:02,129 --> 01:29:05,466 And he gets to pick and choose who gets culled, does he? 1374 01:29:05,633 --> 01:29:06,842 All his rich mates, they get to live... 1375 01:29:07,009 --> 01:29:09,512 And anyone he thinks is worth saving, he's keeping them safe... 1376 01:29:09,678 --> 01:29:11,639 Whether they agree with him or not. 1377 01:29:11,806 --> 01:29:13,974 And you, e9953'- 1378 01:29:14,517 --> 01:29:16,477 in Harry's honour... 1379 01:29:16,644 --> 01:29:21,315 Lam inviting you to be part of a new world. 1380 01:29:23,400 --> 01:29:25,694 It's time to make your decision. 1381 01:29:32,576 --> 01:29:34,537 I'd rather be with Harry. 1382 01:29:35,079 --> 01:29:36,080 Thanks. 1383 01:29:36,831 --> 01:29:38,207 So be it. 1384 01:29:54,515 --> 01:29:57,768 The problem with us common types... 1385 01:29:57,935 --> 01:29:59,520 Is that we're light-fingered. 1386 01:30:00,729 --> 01:30:02,439 Kingsman's taught me a lot... 1387 01:30:02,606 --> 01:30:03,858 But sleight of hand... 1388 01:30:04,525 --> 01:30:06,277 Yes, they're founder members. 1389 01:30:08,904 --> 01:30:10,197 I had that down already. 1390 01:30:12,533 --> 01:30:16,120 You dirty little fucking... 1391 01:30:16,287 --> 01:30:17,454 Prick. 1392 01:30:51,989 --> 01:30:53,741 It's okay, Lancelot. Put it down. 1393 01:30:54,909 --> 01:30:56,452 It's verified. 1394 01:30:58,829 --> 01:31:01,415 Arthur's phone is receiving update texts about getting to safety. 1395 01:31:01,582 --> 01:31:03,334 We don't have a lot of time. What are you going to do? 1396 01:31:03,500 --> 01:31:05,628 The question is, what are we going to do? 1397 01:31:05,794 --> 01:31:08,505 God knows who's in Valentine's pocket and who's not. 1398 01:31:09,173 --> 01:31:10,674 We have no choice. 1399 01:31:11,759 --> 01:31:13,844 We are gonna have to deal with this ourselves. 1400 01:31:17,264 --> 01:31:18,599 Follow me. 1401 01:31:37,493 --> 01:31:38,786 What the fuck is this? 1402 01:31:38,953 --> 01:31:40,788 I have no idea. 1403 01:31:41,789 --> 01:31:42,957 What you're playing with... 1404 01:31:43,123 --> 01:31:45,834 Is a prototype personal trans atmospheric vehicle. 1405 01:31:46,001 --> 01:31:48,295 It was developed as part of Reagan's star wars project. 1406 01:31:48,462 --> 01:31:51,382 It's pretty basic, but it should still work. 1407 01:31:51,632 --> 01:31:54,009 We're gonna take out one of Valentine's satellites. 1408 01:31:54,385 --> 01:31:56,845 We're gonna break the chain, stop the signal. 1409 01:31:57,012 --> 01:31:58,681 It'll take him a couple of hours to reroute it... 1410 01:31:59,348 --> 01:32:03,727 Which buys us enough time for you to get me into Valentine's mainframe... 1411 01:32:03,894 --> 01:32:05,688 So I can shut it down. 1412 01:32:05,854 --> 01:32:08,148 Lancelot, you're going to be using it. 1413 01:32:08,315 --> 01:32:09,692 Get into your halo suit. 1414 01:32:22,204 --> 01:32:24,081 Swedish prime minister, requesting permission to land. 1415 01:32:30,087 --> 01:32:31,839 Permission granted. 1416 01:32:35,426 --> 01:32:37,928 Please. Thank you. 1417 01:32:38,095 --> 01:32:40,180 How many more are we expecting? 1418 01:32:40,347 --> 01:32:41,682 Not many. Most have their own bunkers. 1419 01:32:41,849 --> 01:32:45,185 I figure we're just getting the really nervous ones. 1420 01:32:45,436 --> 01:32:47,438 Welcome, prime minister. 1421 01:32:48,731 --> 01:32:51,692 It seems the implant can emit some kind of counter signal... 1422 01:32:51,859 --> 01:32:55,529 To ensure the wearer remains unaffected by the waves from the sim cards. 1423 01:32:55,696 --> 01:32:57,740 The waves that turn everyone into a psycho killer. 1424 01:32:57,906 --> 01:33:00,451 Quite. But what he probably didn't tell anyone... 1425 01:33:00,617 --> 01:33:04,872 Is it can also super heat their soft tissue at his command. 1426 01:33:05,039 --> 01:33:09,209 Valentine selected his chosen few to get the countdown warning... 1427 01:33:09,376 --> 01:33:12,212 But he had to be sure they didn't blab to the wrong people beforehand. 1428 01:33:12,379 --> 01:33:14,089 How does this help us right now? 1429 01:33:15,049 --> 01:33:16,050 It doesn't. 1430 01:33:16,425 --> 01:33:17,801 Roxy, here we go! 1431 01:33:30,731 --> 01:33:34,318 The higher you go, the more the balloons expand. 1432 01:33:34,485 --> 01:33:36,320 When you reach the edge of the atmosphere... 1433 01:33:36,487 --> 01:33:38,614 They'll explode. 1434 01:33:38,781 --> 01:33:40,783 You'll need to deploy your missile just before that, okay? 1435 01:33:40,949 --> 01:33:42,284 Edge of the atmosphere. 1436 01:33:42,451 --> 01:33:45,746 And once you've deployed, you'll need to release for descent, fast. 1437 01:33:46,747 --> 01:33:47,998 Good luck. 1438 01:33:50,334 --> 01:33:52,336 You can do this, okay? Yeah. 1439 01:33:52,503 --> 01:33:55,297 Eggsy, come on. Time is not our friend. 1440 01:34:17,778 --> 01:34:19,780 You're getting in on Arthur's invitation. 1441 01:34:19,947 --> 01:34:21,156 You're gonna need to blend in. 1442 01:34:21,323 --> 01:34:22,449 I'm supposed to be Arthur? 1443 01:34:22,616 --> 01:34:25,619 His invitation is in his phone. You give them this. 1444 01:34:25,786 --> 01:34:27,204 Give his real name, Chester king. 1445 01:34:27,287 --> 01:34:28,288 What about you? 1446 01:34:28,455 --> 01:34:29,873 I'm your pilot. I'm gonna stay here. 1447 01:34:30,958 --> 01:34:32,042 Is that gonna fit me? 1448 01:34:32,209 --> 01:34:34,711 A bespoke suit always fits. 1449 01:34:34,878 --> 01:34:36,672 Just be grateful Harry had it made for you. 1450 01:34:37,631 --> 01:34:38,632 Get dressed. 1451 01:34:40,092 --> 01:34:41,135 What the fuck's wrong with them? 1452 01:34:41,468 --> 01:34:44,221 I don't know. Could have something to do with the mass genocide. 1453 01:34:44,388 --> 01:34:46,306 Give me the mic. 1454 01:34:48,142 --> 01:34:49,685 Hey-oh! 1455 01:34:49,852 --> 01:34:52,771 Everybody, listen up! Hello, hello! 1456 01:34:52,938 --> 01:34:55,149 What the fuck is wrong with you people? 1457 01:34:55,315 --> 01:34:58,152 I just wanna remind you that today... 1458 01:34:58,318 --> 01:35:00,904 Is a day of celebration. 1459 01:35:01,738 --> 01:35:05,242 We must put aside all thoughts of death... 1460 01:35:05,409 --> 01:35:07,286 And focus on birth. 1461 01:35:08,370 --> 01:35:10,789 The birth of a new age. 1462 01:35:11,999 --> 01:35:16,962 We mustn't mourn those who give their lives today. 1463 01:35:17,129 --> 01:35:19,089 We should honour their sacrifice... 1464 01:35:19,256 --> 01:35:21,258 Has she got my number to call me back? I got a new phone. 1465 01:35:21,425 --> 01:35:23,010 ...and their roles... 1466 01:35:23,093 --> 01:35:24,595 ...in saving the human race. 1467 01:35:27,014 --> 01:35:30,684 We must put aside doubt and guilt. 1468 01:35:32,102 --> 01:35:35,647 You are the chosen people. 1469 01:35:37,274 --> 01:35:40,736 When folks tell their kids the story of Noah's ark... 1470 01:35:40,903 --> 01:35:42,696 - Is Noah the bad guy? - No! 1471 01:35:42,863 --> 01:35:44,865 Ls god the bad guy? 1472 01:35:44,990 --> 01:35:45,991 No! 1473 01:35:46,033 --> 01:35:48,368 How about the animals marching two by two? 1474 01:35:48,452 --> 01:35:50,204 No! Of course not! 1475 01:35:50,704 --> 01:35:52,664 Yeah, that's it! 1476 01:35:52,831 --> 01:35:56,627 Let's turn those frowns upside down. 1477 01:35:56,793 --> 01:35:58,629 Eat, drink... 1478 01:35:58,795 --> 01:36:00,464 And part)” 1479 01:36:03,509 --> 01:36:06,053 and I will see you all in the new age. 1480 01:36:31,286 --> 01:36:33,413 Rox, it's me. 1481 01:36:33,914 --> 01:36:35,249 How's the view? 1482 01:36:38,085 --> 01:36:40,170 Hideous mine's pretty sweet. 1483 01:36:40,337 --> 01:36:42,130 They made you one of these suits yet? 1484 01:36:42,214 --> 01:36:43,257 No, not yet. 1485 01:36:43,423 --> 01:36:45,759 You've got something to look forward to then. 1486 01:36:45,926 --> 01:36:48,512 We're coming up on Valentine's base. Gotta go. 1487 01:36:49,972 --> 01:36:51,265 Good luck. 1488 01:36:58,939 --> 01:36:59,940 Looking good, Eggsy. 1489 01:37:02,609 --> 01:37:05,320 Feeling good, Merlin. 1490 01:37:10,617 --> 01:37:12,202 This is November-2-4-7-Charlie-kilo... 1491 01:37:12,369 --> 01:37:14,788 Requesting permission to land. 1492 01:37:17,791 --> 01:37:20,335 Permission is granted. 1493 01:37:24,006 --> 01:37:25,632 Fuck me. 1494 01:37:25,674 --> 01:37:26,758 Mmm-hmm. 1495 01:37:52,993 --> 01:37:55,454 E9953', we're on. 1496 01:38:10,177 --> 01:38:11,178 Chester king. 1497 01:38:12,179 --> 01:38:14,139 Mr. king, welcome. 1498 01:38:14,514 --> 01:38:18,310 I'm sure you've adhered to Valentine's strict no-weapons policy... 1499 01:38:18,477 --> 01:38:19,811 But if you don't object... Of course. 1500 01:38:19,978 --> 01:38:21,188 Thank you. 1501 01:38:21,688 --> 01:38:23,815 Do you have any luggage? 1502 01:38:24,775 --> 01:38:25,817 Congratulations, Mycroft, 1503 01:38:25,859 --> 01:38:28,236 you just graduated from my pilot to my valet. 1504 01:38:28,862 --> 01:38:31,323 You cheeky-- understood? 1505 01:38:31,490 --> 01:38:32,741 Good. 1506 01:38:34,034 --> 01:38:35,661 Thank you. 1507 01:39:00,936 --> 01:39:04,523 Eggsy, find a laptop, get me online. 1508 01:39:04,564 --> 01:39:05,565 The clock is ticking. 1509 01:39:06,733 --> 01:39:09,444 And remember, try to blend in. 1510 01:39:09,611 --> 01:39:11,571 Would sir care for a drink? 1511 01:39:12,197 --> 01:39:13,407 Martini. 1512 01:39:13,573 --> 01:39:15,742 Gin, not vodka, obviously. 1513 01:39:15,909 --> 01:39:19,621 Stirred for 1 o seconds while glancing at an unopened bottle of vermouth. 1514 01:39:20,247 --> 01:39:21,456 Thank you. 1515 01:39:24,251 --> 01:39:26,044 Merlin, are you clocking this? 1516 01:39:26,253 --> 01:39:28,296 Yes, I am. Stay focused. 1517 01:39:28,922 --> 01:39:31,091 Lancelot, you're doing great. Not much further to go. 1518 01:39:31,800 --> 01:39:32,926 Yes, Merlin. 1519 01:39:34,428 --> 01:39:36,722 Eggsy, get me online now. 1520 01:39:37,639 --> 01:39:38,640 Yep, I'm on it. 1521 01:39:39,808 --> 01:39:41,935 Lancelot, you're approaching your altitude limit. 1522 01:39:42,269 --> 01:39:44,062 Those balloons won't last much longer. 1523 01:39:44,938 --> 01:39:46,898 Prepare to engage missile. 1524 01:40:02,316 --> 01:40:03,526 Society's dead. 1525 01:40:03,985 --> 01:40:05,570 Long live society. 1526 01:40:06,821 --> 01:40:08,155 Amen to that. 1527 01:40:09,615 --> 01:40:11,659 I'm Morten Lindstrom. Chester king. 1528 01:40:11,993 --> 01:40:13,327 How'd you get online? I couldn't. 1529 01:40:13,703 --> 01:40:14,829 Oh, well, it's a closed network, you see. 1530 01:40:14,870 --> 01:40:16,163 Pre-authorized connections only. 1531 01:40:16,247 --> 01:40:17,248 Ah. 1532 01:40:20,876 --> 01:40:22,169 I've got a fix on the satellite. 1533 01:40:22,336 --> 01:40:23,462 Eggsy". Do you have the correct time? 1534 01:40:23,629 --> 01:40:24,839 I think I'm still in my last time zone. 1535 01:40:24,880 --> 01:40:26,382 Oh, yeah, yeah. Let's see now. 1536 01:40:40,507 --> 01:40:41,508 Eggsy, I'm in. 1537 01:40:41,675 --> 01:40:42,759 Get your arse back to the plane, now. 1538 01:40:42,926 --> 01:40:44,511 On my way. Lancelot, good luck! 1539 01:40:44,678 --> 01:40:46,846 Firing in 3...2... 1540 01:40:54,229 --> 01:40:55,230 Nice and slow. 1541 01:40:55,397 --> 01:40:56,564 Fuck are you doing here? 1542 01:40:56,731 --> 01:40:59,067 Well, my family were invited, obviously. 1543 01:40:59,234 --> 01:41:00,860 Now, get the fuck up! Slowly. 1544 01:41:02,070 --> 01:41:03,947 Oh, shit. Lancelot, hurry up and fire! 1545 01:41:04,114 --> 01:41:05,699 That other balloon is gonna blow! 1546 01:41:05,865 --> 01:41:08,910 Yes, Merlin. I've nearly got it. Give me a second! 1547 01:41:10,787 --> 01:41:13,707 Valentine! I've caught a fucking spy! 1548 01:41:14,374 --> 01:41:15,417 V-glass, zoom. 1549 01:41:15,583 --> 01:41:17,627 Oh, fuck! It's that young valet. 1550 01:41:21,423 --> 01:41:23,133 Son of a bitch. 1551 01:41:23,717 --> 01:41:24,801 G01' it! 1552 01:41:34,936 --> 01:41:36,229 Oh, shit. Sound the alarm! 1553 01:41:38,773 --> 01:41:39,816 I'm not taking any chances. 1554 01:41:39,983 --> 01:41:41,484 Okay, you send out the two-minute warning. 1555 01:41:41,651 --> 01:41:44,112 I'm starting the override. All right, let's do this. 1556 01:41:45,447 --> 01:41:47,073 Countdown initiated. 1557 01:41:56,791 --> 01:41:58,460 - You see him? - Right here. 1558 01:42:07,260 --> 01:42:08,511 Eggsy, take a left. 1559 01:42:09,304 --> 01:42:10,305 Two guards, up ahead. 1560 01:42:22,650 --> 01:42:23,943 Lancelot! Release now! 1561 01:42:34,996 --> 01:42:36,790 Eggsy, straight ahead, then right. 1562 01:42:37,165 --> 01:42:38,166 There's two more. 1563 01:42:41,878 --> 01:42:43,963 All right, everybody on your feet! 1564 01:42:44,130 --> 01:42:45,340 Countdown to V-day! 1565 01:42:45,507 --> 01:42:47,008 Welcome in the new age! 1566 01:42:55,391 --> 01:42:56,476 Flat spin. 1567 01:43:11,658 --> 01:43:14,494 Eggsy, next left, down the narrow tunnel! 1568 01:43:23,253 --> 01:43:24,254 Here we go! 1569 01:43:24,420 --> 01:43:25,421 10... 1570 01:43:26,047 --> 01:43:27,382 9... 1571 01:43:27,882 --> 01:43:28,883 8... 1572 01:43:29,551 --> 01:43:30,552 7... 1573 01:43:31,469 --> 01:43:32,470 6... 1574 01:43:33,137 --> 01:43:34,222 5... 1575 01:43:34,806 --> 01:43:35,807 4... 1576 01:43:36,808 --> 01:43:37,809 3... 1577 01:43:37,976 --> 01:43:38,977 2... 1578 01:43:39,727 --> 01:43:40,728 1! 1579 01:43:46,651 --> 01:43:48,486 Nice! Well done, both of you. 1580 01:43:49,237 --> 01:43:50,238 It's not working! 1581 01:43:50,405 --> 01:43:52,198 It's supposed to be working! What the fuck? 1582 01:43:58,872 --> 01:43:59,914 Yes! 1583 01:44:00,081 --> 01:44:01,416 Well done, Rox. Good girl. 1584 01:44:04,836 --> 01:44:07,297 We've lost one of our satellites. 1585 01:44:16,848 --> 01:44:20,602 Oh, no, no. There's no way I can hack past that. 1586 01:44:26,190 --> 01:44:27,191 What's going on? 1587 01:44:28,359 --> 01:44:29,444 Is there a problem? 1588 01:44:30,612 --> 01:44:31,946 Come on. There's no need for guns. 1589 01:44:32,113 --> 01:44:33,615 I'm just a pilot. 1590 01:44:36,618 --> 01:44:37,660 Oh, fuck. Merlin! 1591 01:44:40,455 --> 01:44:42,040 Get in here! 1592 01:44:46,294 --> 01:44:47,462 Come on! 1593 01:44:51,007 --> 01:44:52,342 Let's get the fuck out of here! 1594 01:44:52,508 --> 01:44:53,509 We can't. 1595 01:44:53,676 --> 01:44:55,136 I can't get into Valentine's machine. 1596 01:44:55,303 --> 01:44:56,888 He's got biometric security. 1597 01:44:58,306 --> 01:44:59,307 You're gonna have to get in there 1598 01:44:59,349 --> 01:45:01,684 and make sure his hand never touches that desk. 1599 01:45:01,851 --> 01:45:03,394 Are you taking the fucking piss? 1600 01:45:03,561 --> 01:45:04,812 I'm afraid not. 1601 01:45:07,982 --> 01:45:08,983 Let's have that then. 1602 01:45:09,067 --> 01:45:10,068 Uh-uh. 1603 01:45:10,652 --> 01:45:11,986 This is mine. 1604 01:45:12,487 --> 01:45:14,405 I'll show you yours. 1605 01:45:31,673 --> 01:45:32,674 Good choice. 1606 01:45:35,385 --> 01:45:36,928 How long to re-link the satellite chain? 1607 01:45:37,095 --> 01:45:38,346 It'll take an hour, maybe two. 1608 01:45:38,513 --> 01:45:40,598 Bullshit! Just bring these two closer together. 1609 01:45:40,765 --> 01:45:42,100 But that's not yours. 1610 01:45:47,772 --> 01:45:49,983 V-glass, call e-man. 1611 01:45:50,358 --> 01:45:51,693 E, it's v. 1612 01:45:51,859 --> 01:45:53,861 Listen, man, I got a little hiccup on this end. 1613 01:45:54,028 --> 01:45:55,029 I need to piggyback. 1614 01:45:55,196 --> 01:45:56,864 One of my satellites just went down, 1615 01:45:56,906 --> 01:45:59,200 but it's right next to one of yours. 1616 01:45:59,742 --> 01:46:01,202 You read my mind. 1617 01:46:01,869 --> 01:46:03,454 How long before you make that happen? 1618 01:46:06,541 --> 01:46:07,583 Go. 1619 01:46:11,754 --> 01:46:13,715 All right, we should be coming back online. 1620 01:46:16,551 --> 01:46:17,552 10 percent. 1621 01:46:20,430 --> 01:46:21,472 Oh, shit! 1622 01:46:21,639 --> 01:46:23,433 Eggsy, Valentine's using someone else's satellite. 1623 01:46:23,599 --> 01:46:25,560 He's going to reconnect the chain. 1624 01:46:25,727 --> 01:46:27,145 It's going to take him no time at all. 1625 01:46:28,146 --> 01:46:29,230 It's at 20 percent. 1626 01:46:47,165 --> 01:46:50,418 Eggsy, it seems Valentine's got a present for you. Get a move on! 1627 01:47:23,951 --> 01:47:25,328 Is that Kingsman kid dead yet? 1628 01:47:25,536 --> 01:47:27,163 Not yet, but he will be soon. 1629 01:47:27,330 --> 01:47:29,040 Good. 1630 01:47:41,969 --> 01:47:42,970 Merlin, I'm fucked. 1631 01:47:56,192 --> 01:47:57,193 As am l. 1632 01:47:57,360 --> 01:47:59,695 They're coming at me from both sides. I'm out of options. 1633 01:48:00,154 --> 01:48:02,990 Rox, I need a favour. 1634 01:48:03,157 --> 01:48:04,200 Call my mum. 1635 01:48:04,367 --> 01:48:05,910 Tell her to lock herself away from Dean. 1636 01:48:06,577 --> 01:48:07,578 And the baby... 1637 01:48:09,205 --> 01:48:10,206 And tell her I love her. 1638 01:48:19,173 --> 01:48:20,424 Oh, for fuck's sake. 1639 01:48:24,762 --> 01:48:27,932 Merlin, remember those implants you said were of no use to us? 1640 01:48:29,725 --> 01:48:30,893 Any chance you can turn them on? 1641 01:48:34,397 --> 01:48:35,398 All right. 1642 01:48:35,565 --> 01:48:38,025 My turn to play, Valentine. 1643 01:48:46,534 --> 01:48:47,702 Oh, no! 1644 01:48:47,869 --> 01:48:50,288 What the fuck is he doing? I can't stop this. 1645 01:49:03,718 --> 01:49:04,760 Yes, please. 1646 01:49:08,431 --> 01:49:09,599 No! 1647 01:50:06,364 --> 01:50:08,449 On, my god! 1648 01:50:08,616 --> 01:50:10,618 That is fucking spectacular! 1649 01:50:10,785 --> 01:50:12,662 Merlin, you're a fucking genius! 1650 01:50:13,871 --> 01:50:16,874 What the fuck is happening out there? 1651 01:50:21,170 --> 01:50:22,463 Aren't you that Princess who went missing? 1652 01:50:22,630 --> 01:50:23,673 Can you get me out? 1653 01:50:24,298 --> 01:50:26,217 If I do, will you give me a kiss? 1654 01:50:26,384 --> 01:50:27,802 I've always wanted to kiss a Princess. 1655 01:50:27,969 --> 01:50:29,971 If you get me out right now, I'll give you more than just a kiss. 1656 01:50:32,223 --> 01:50:33,474 You motherfucker. 1657 01:50:33,641 --> 01:50:35,476 Did you really think I was stupid enough... 1658 01:50:35,643 --> 01:50:37,812 To implant one of those things in my own head? 1659 01:50:38,271 --> 01:50:39,814 What are you, fucking crazy? 1660 01:50:40,773 --> 01:50:43,067 All those innocent people killed and for what? 1661 01:50:43,943 --> 01:50:46,779 You didn't stop shit! 1662 01:50:48,155 --> 01:50:50,157 Fine, I've locked the door. What do you want me to do now? 1663 01:50:50,324 --> 01:50:53,160 As I said, put your daughter in the bathroom and throw away the key. 1664 01:50:53,953 --> 01:50:56,330 It's still happening! 1665 01:50:56,497 --> 01:50:57,665 You're fucking insane! 1666 01:50:57,832 --> 01:50:58,958 Just do it. 1667 01:51:26,277 --> 01:51:27,611 Eggsy, the signal's started! 1668 01:51:27,778 --> 01:51:30,948 Get Valentine's hand off that bloody desk now! 1669 01:51:31,115 --> 01:51:32,116 Sorry, love. 1670 01:51:32,450 --> 01:51:33,534 Got to save the world. 1671 01:51:33,701 --> 01:51:35,286 If you save the world... 1672 01:51:35,453 --> 01:51:37,121 We can do it in the asshole. 1673 01:51:38,372 --> 01:51:40,291 I'll be right back. 1674 01:51:41,667 --> 01:51:42,668 Good luck! 1675 01:51:49,383 --> 01:51:50,384 London. 1676 01:52:18,871 --> 01:52:19,872 Rio. 1677 01:52:35,763 --> 01:52:36,764 Get down! 1678 01:52:38,766 --> 01:52:39,767 You did it! 1679 01:52:49,360 --> 01:52:51,278 The glass is not gonna hold long. 1680 01:52:52,947 --> 01:52:54,573 You stay here. 1681 01:52:56,784 --> 01:52:57,952 Merlin, quickly, how do I get up there? 1682 01:52:58,285 --> 01:53:00,204 Keep shooting, I'll find a route. Understood. 1683 01:53:16,762 --> 01:53:17,847 Holy fuck! 1684 01:53:36,365 --> 01:53:37,658 We're back up. 1685 01:53:38,534 --> 01:53:39,827 We're back up! 1686 01:53:46,834 --> 01:53:48,544 This is great! 1687 01:53:56,594 --> 01:53:57,595 Eggsy! 1688 01:53:57,678 --> 01:53:59,221 Fucking get on with it! 1689 01:53:59,388 --> 01:54:00,598 Kick his ass, Gazy! 1690 01:54:03,517 --> 01:54:05,686 Baby, give it up give it up 1691 01:54:05,853 --> 01:54:07,188 baby, give it up 1692 01:54:07,229 --> 01:54:10,024 Seoul, Caracas, Mumbai! 1693 01:54:10,941 --> 01:54:13,486 Baby, give it up give it up 1694 01:54:13,527 --> 01:54:15,529 baby, give it up 1695 01:54:18,407 --> 01:54:20,868 kill that motherfucker! He killed all our friends! 1696 01:54:38,260 --> 01:54:40,262 Eggsy, the world is going to shit! 1697 01:54:49,647 --> 01:54:51,732 Ls he dead yet? Not yet! 1698 01:54:51,899 --> 01:54:53,984 Stop playing with your food! 1699 01:54:54,151 --> 01:54:55,152 Kill him! 1700 01:56:13,272 --> 01:56:14,648 Gazelle! 1701 01:56:16,483 --> 01:56:17,651 Gazelle! 1702 01:56:27,286 --> 01:56:28,996 Come on! Come on! 1703 01:56:31,624 --> 01:56:32,625 Kill him! 1704 01:56:49,975 --> 01:56:51,393 Hey! 1705 01:57:16,043 --> 01:57:17,544 Well done, son! 1706 01:57:17,878 --> 01:57:19,838 Whoo! Yes! 1707 01:57:20,005 --> 01:57:21,173 Yes, e9953'! 1708 01:57:21,340 --> 01:57:22,883 Well done, Eggsy! 1709 01:57:23,384 --> 01:57:24,551 And you, Lancelot. 1710 01:57:27,304 --> 01:57:29,890 I'm so sorry. Mummy would never hurt you. 1711 01:57:30,516 --> 01:57:33,560 Mummy would never hurt you. I'm so sorry. 1712 01:57:36,063 --> 01:57:37,064 Are you okay? 1713 01:57:40,859 --> 01:57:42,736 Harry would be proud of you, Eggsy. 1714 01:57:44,071 --> 01:57:45,155 He was right. 1715 01:58:00,587 --> 01:58:01,880 What's up, man? 1716 01:58:02,256 --> 01:58:05,592 Is this the part where you say some really bad pun? 1717 01:58:07,094 --> 01:58:09,096 Well, it's like you said to Harry. 1718 01:58:12,266 --> 01:58:14,601 This ain't that kind of movie, bruv. 1719 01:58:16,103 --> 01:58:17,521 Perfect. 1720 01:58:38,417 --> 01:58:39,585 Eggsy, where are you going? 1721 01:58:39,752 --> 01:58:41,879 There's no need for champagne. We got loads in the plane. 1722 01:58:49,136 --> 01:58:50,220 Did you save the world? 1723 01:58:50,804 --> 01:58:52,264 Yes, I did. 1724 01:58:53,599 --> 01:58:56,393 So, you gonna come in? 1725 01:58:57,144 --> 01:58:58,645 Yes, lam. 1726 01:59:00,731 --> 01:59:02,691 Slave to love 1727 01:59:04,109 --> 01:59:05,986 Merlin, the cell's locked. How do I get in? 1728 01:59:08,280 --> 01:59:09,823 26-25. 1729 01:59:14,161 --> 01:59:16,747 Merlin, you're the guvnor. 1730 01:59:18,957 --> 01:59:21,335 You owe me, Eggsy. 1731 01:59:26,965 --> 01:59:28,008 Eggsv? 1732 01:59:32,262 --> 01:59:33,263 Oh. 1733 01:59:34,014 --> 01:59:35,682 Oh, my word. 1734 01:59:38,769 --> 01:59:41,313 The storm is breaking 1735 01:59:42,064 --> 01:59:44,107 or so it seems 1736 01:59:45,275 --> 01:59:47,945 we're too young to reason 1737 01:59:48,070 --> 01:59:50,531 too grown up to dream 1738 01:59:51,782 --> 01:59:54,409 now spring is turning 1739 01:59:55,327 --> 01:59:57,120 your face to mine 1740 01:59:58,288 --> 02:00:00,374 I can hear your laughter 1741 02:00:01,291 --> 02:00:02,793 I can see your smile 1742 02:00:02,876 --> 02:00:04,670 slave to love 1743 02:00:09,258 --> 02:00:10,801 slave to love 1744 02:00:11,718 --> 02:00:13,387 I can't escape 1745 02:00:14,388 --> 02:00:17,307 I'm a slave to love slave to love 1746 02:00:22,896 --> 02:00:25,440 Michelle, turn that shit off. It's doing my nut in. 1747 02:00:26,733 --> 02:00:28,235 I rather like that song. 1748 02:00:28,777 --> 02:00:30,362 Leave it on, eh, mum? 1749 02:00:34,116 --> 02:00:36,034 Mugsy's back. 1750 02:00:36,159 --> 02:00:38,203 You've finally come to have that word with me, have you, son? 1751 02:00:38,954 --> 02:00:40,247 Or are you gonna run away again... 1752 02:00:40,414 --> 02:00:41,999 And pretend you're going to court, dressed like that? 1753 02:00:42,457 --> 02:00:43,834 Oh, you mean this? 1754 02:00:45,377 --> 02:00:46,670 No. 1755 02:00:47,296 --> 02:00:50,591 I know this bloke who's just taken over a tailor shop on Savile row. 1756 02:00:51,675 --> 02:00:53,260 He's given me a job, mum. 1757 02:00:53,969 --> 02:00:55,262 It comes with a lot of perks. 1758 02:00:56,638 --> 02:00:57,973 Including a house. 1759 02:00:59,141 --> 02:01:00,976 Come and live with me there, mum. 1760 02:01:01,560 --> 02:01:02,561 Come on. 1761 02:01:02,603 --> 02:01:03,604 Sit down, you. 1762 02:01:04,938 --> 02:01:07,107 Only place she'll be visiting is you in fucking hospital. 1763 02:01:07,274 --> 02:01:09,067 Do you hear? Michelle: Just leave him alone, Dean! 1764 02:01:09,234 --> 02:01:11,486 Eggsy, just go. Please, just go, babe. 1765 02:01:12,946 --> 02:01:14,239 All right. 1766 02:01:14,406 --> 02:01:15,949 That's it, do as mummy says. 1767 02:01:16,116 --> 02:01:17,451 Why don't you ask that tailor friend of yours, 1768 02:01:17,534 --> 02:01:18,952 and knock up a nice chicken costume. 1769 02:01:19,119 --> 02:01:20,495 It'll suit you, you mug. 1770 02:01:22,748 --> 02:01:25,542 As a good friend once said... 1771 02:01:26,835 --> 02:01:27,961 "Manners... 1772 02:01:29,880 --> 02:01:30,881 "Maketh... 1773 02:01:33,425 --> 02:01:34,426 "Man." 1774 02:01:35,302 --> 02:01:37,638 Dean? Shut the fuck up. 1775 02:01:37,804 --> 02:01:40,223 Eggsy, I'm gonna shove your manners up your fucking-- 1776 02:01:46,188 --> 02:01:47,189 so... 1777 02:01:47,439 --> 02:01:51,443 Are we gonna stand around here all day, or are we gonna fight? 1778 02:02:03,163 --> 02:02:04,581 Get ready for it 1779 02:02:17,219 --> 02:02:20,347 you said whatever you put out there 1780 02:02:20,639 --> 02:02:22,516 whatever you put out there 1781 02:02:22,599 --> 02:02:24,643 is gonna come back 1782 02:02:25,435 --> 02:02:28,522 you said whenever you are ready 1783 02:02:28,563 --> 02:02:32,693 whenever you are ready just let it all out 1784 02:02:33,735 --> 02:02:36,738 I know 'cause the enemy inside me 1785 02:02:36,822 --> 02:02:40,867 'cause the enemy inside me is holding me back 1786 02:02:41,535 --> 02:02:45,163 but we know there's something in the silence 1787 02:02:45,205 --> 02:02:48,041 there's something in the silence 1788 02:02:48,375 --> 02:02:49,960 get ready for it 1789 02:02:56,425 --> 02:02:58,051 get ready for it 1790 02:03:04,725 --> 02:03:09,021 you said there's only place left to find 1791 02:03:09,062 --> 02:03:12,899 together we can save the world tonight 1792 02:03:12,941 --> 02:03:14,568 get ready for it 1793 02:03:14,776 --> 02:03:17,863 you said every life is a lesson 1794 02:03:17,904 --> 02:03:21,992 are you a fool or a Kingsman? 'Cause only you know 1795 02:03:22,826 --> 02:03:26,288 hold on, 'cause the volume is rising 1796 02:03:26,371 --> 02:03:30,208 yeah, the volume is rising so you better hold on 1797 02:03:31,460 --> 02:03:33,670 the night is young 1798 02:03:33,754 --> 02:03:37,507 until it's over, until it's over 1799 02:03:37,591 --> 02:03:41,720 the night is young the night is ours 1800 02:03:41,762 --> 02:03:45,807 until tomorrow, until tomorrow 1801 02:03:45,891 --> 02:03:47,267 get ready for it 1802 02:03:53,482 --> 02:03:55,567 yeah, get ready for it 1803 02:04:02,240 --> 02:04:05,952 you said there's only one place left to find 1804 02:04:06,119 --> 02:04:10,123 together we can save the world tonight 1805 02:04:10,207 --> 02:04:13,960 get ready for it get ready for it 1806 02:04:14,628 --> 02:04:18,298 get ready for it get ready for it 1807 02:04:20,509 --> 02:04:22,344 the night is young 1808 02:04:22,594 --> 02:04:26,640 until it's over until it's over 1809 02:04:26,723 --> 02:04:30,811 the night is young the night is ours 1810 02:04:30,894 --> 02:04:35,232 until tomorrow until tomorrow 1811 02:04:37,150 --> 02:04:38,902 get ready for it 1812 02:04:38,985 --> 02:04:40,987 I'll hold your hand 1813 02:04:41,029 --> 02:04:45,325 with good intentions with good intentions 1814 02:04:45,367 --> 02:04:46,993 I'll hold your hand 1815 02:04:47,369 --> 02:04:49,663 the night is ours 1816 02:04:49,704 --> 02:04:53,500 until tomorrow until tomorrow 1817 02:04:53,542 --> 02:04:57,462 you said there's only one place left to find 1818 02:04:57,504 --> 02:05:01,174 together we can save the world tonight 1819 02:05:01,675 --> 02:05:05,178 get ready for it get ready for it 1820 02:05:05,846 --> 02:05:09,349 get ready for it get ready for it 1821 02:05:09,850 --> 02:05:11,852 get ready for it 1822 02:05:30,203 --> 02:05:31,246 life been crazy 1823 02:05:31,329 --> 02:05:32,873 all advice has been to chill more 1824 02:05:32,956 --> 02:05:36,042 ironic I've been living off with people down to kill for 1825 02:05:36,126 --> 02:05:37,544 and I find no comfort in numbers 1826 02:05:37,586 --> 02:05:39,296 knowin' there's always a mil more 1827 02:05:39,379 --> 02:05:40,922 fact was that cat dragged my pretty... 1828 02:05:41,006 --> 02:05:42,549 Right at the top of that billboard 1829 02:05:42,632 --> 02:05:44,176 and all of my folks who done been here from jump 1830 02:05:44,217 --> 02:05:45,802 you the ones I'ma cover the bill for 1831 02:05:45,886 --> 02:05:47,012 and as I get ill more 1832 02:05:47,053 --> 02:05:48,972 we gon' triple the order of champagne and spill more 1833 02:05:49,055 --> 02:05:50,182 let's settle the real score 1834 02:05:50,223 --> 02:05:52,058 been wondering what the public gotta feel for 1835 02:05:52,100 --> 02:05:53,101 so let's keep it real, yeah 1836 02:05:53,185 --> 02:05:55,228 you know I'm killing game as soon as I step on the field 1837 02:05:55,312 --> 02:05:56,396 y'all at the top are all mad now 1838 02:05:56,479 --> 02:05:58,190 there's no turning back now 1839 02:05:58,231 --> 02:05:59,566 I won't ever back down 1840 02:05:59,649 --> 02:06:01,610 they feel me like they giving iggy a pat down 1841 02:06:01,693 --> 02:06:02,986 I needed a moment I found it 1842 02:06:03,069 --> 02:06:04,321 lately I've been on my runnin' the town shit 1843 02:06:04,404 --> 02:06:06,489 especially walkin' around with 1844 02:06:06,573 --> 02:06:08,992 this heavy crown 1845 02:06:09,075 --> 02:06:12,579 you can't always please the crowd 1846 02:06:12,621 --> 02:06:18,001 but I am still not bowing down 1847 02:06:18,210 --> 02:06:21,630 this heavy crown 1848 02:06:21,963 --> 02:06:24,925 it comes and goes around 1849 02:06:25,008 --> 02:06:29,888 and when it's time I'll pass it proud 1850 02:06:30,805 --> 02:06:32,265 but...L got it now 1851 02:06:32,307 --> 02:06:33,558 so keep it cute, chick 1852 02:06:33,600 --> 02:06:35,477 and don't be hatin' on the new chick 1853 02:06:35,560 --> 02:06:36,770 go back and check your stats 1854 02:06:36,853 --> 02:06:38,730 and bet they let you know I do's this 1855 02:06:38,813 --> 02:06:39,856 glasses full of empty 1856 02:06:39,940 --> 02:06:41,816 depending on point of view chick 1857 02:06:41,900 --> 02:06:42,943 if you was mad before 1858 02:06:42,984 --> 02:06:44,986 I bet you hate me for this new shit 1859 02:06:45,070 --> 02:06:46,071 maybe you should watch 1860 02:06:46,112 --> 02:06:47,781 what you've got coming out your two lips 1861 02:06:47,864 --> 02:06:49,241 get cool with how I kick it 1862 02:06:49,282 --> 02:06:51,159 or else you gon' get the boot... 1863 02:06:51,243 --> 02:06:52,327 Iggy a-z-a 1864 02:06:52,410 --> 02:06:54,162 aka captain of the crew ship 1865 02:06:54,246 --> 02:06:55,997 don't penny pinch I promise, babe, 1866 02:06:56,081 --> 02:06:57,624 I don't need your two cents 1867 02:06:57,666 --> 02:07:00,126 get rid of the makeup let us see just who you is 1868 02:07:00,210 --> 02:07:01,461 but if you feel like that girl 1869 02:07:01,503 --> 02:07:03,255 bless your heart go get it how you live 1870 02:07:03,296 --> 02:07:04,297 when you hear my name 1871 02:07:04,381 --> 02:07:06,258 you gotta know that she's something regal 1872 02:07:06,299 --> 02:07:07,801 I'm one of one ain't no sequels 1873 02:07:07,884 --> 02:07:09,052 I'm wearing 1874 02:07:09,135 --> 02:07:11,721 this heavy crown 1875 02:07:11,805 --> 02:07:15,100 you can't always please the crowd 1876 02:07:15,141 --> 02:07:20,146 but I am still not bowing down 1877 02:07:21,022 --> 02:07:23,984 this heavy crown 1878 02:07:24,526 --> 02:07:27,570 it comes and goes around 1879 02:07:27,654 --> 02:07:32,450 and when it's time I'll pass it proud 1880 02:07:33,326 --> 02:07:35,161 but...L got it now 1881 02:07:48,508 --> 02:07:51,219 to everyone who said I'd never make it 1882 02:07:51,761 --> 02:07:54,431 oh, lord, weren't you mistaken 1883 02:07:54,723 --> 02:07:57,225 I got a dinner date with greatness 1884 02:07:57,309 --> 02:08:00,770 iggy lgg ain't never been nothin' to play wit, hold up 1885 02:08:01,021 --> 02:08:03,732 to everyone who said I'd never make it 1886 02:08:04,190 --> 02:08:06,860 I'm at the top laughin' at you faces 1887 02:08:07,444 --> 02:08:09,154 I've been practicing my Patience 1888 02:08:09,195 --> 02:08:11,531 but I switch back quick if you play with 1889 02:08:11,573 --> 02:08:13,783 this heavy crown 1890 02:08:13,867 --> 02:08:16,494 to everyone who said I'd never make it 1891 02:08:17,537 --> 02:08:20,206 this heavy crown 1892 02:08:20,248 --> 02:08:22,709 oh, lord, weren't you mistaken 1893 02:08:23,835 --> 02:08:26,129 this heavy crown 1894 02:08:26,212 --> 02:08:29,049 to everyone who said I'd never make it 1895 02:08:29,883 --> 02:08:32,719 this heavy crown 1896 02:08:32,802 --> 02:08:35,680 I'm at the top laughin' at you faces 1897 02:08:36,056 --> 02:08:37,724 but...L got it now